Monday, June 6, 2011

Updates..Monday weigh_in & life

My OFFICIAL weigh in this morning..171. So I am down 4.5 pounds in 3 weeks.. I am good with that!
The scale actually read 169.5 this morning. I got on then off.. On then off..About 5 times. Then it read 171.. I am going with 171. I have a doc appointment on Thursday and it is usually right on. My scale has been wacky lately! It is Right 90% of the time. 171 seems to be more accurate to me.I will weigh again later today or tomorrow and see if it is still around the same.( I am not eating much lately) But truthfully....The number is not really a big deal. I want to get to the 60's but I remember when I was fighting to get out of 184..I HATED that number!! Now all my clothes are falling off. So I am going more by how my clothes fit and how I feel. Not so much by what the scale reads. That is why I have not been so consistent with my weigh-ins.It is just not as important to me. I mean sure it is important that I don't let it creep back up..But it won't..I would NEVER..EVER go back to the way I use to eat..EVER!!! So that would not happen. It comes down to the littlest things..WATER..Who would have thought that your body requires as much water as it does. I don't think that most people understand that if you JUST drink more water that you will lose weight JUST doing that! I don't drink ANYTHING else. I do have ONE diet soda at night with dinner and I am not even sure why I do that. I am now drinking Diet Right I think it is called. It has no caffeine,sodium..NADA..My aunt Becky recommended it..So I have one glass at night. Other then that it is water all day. I feel as though I would die with out it! I know that sounds drastic. I guess now that I drink a certain amount my body just will NOT allow me to have any less.

You all have been so honest and forthcoming with me. So I know that I am able to be the same with you when it comes to talking about what is going on in my life right now.
Thank you for all of the support that I have received. Me and my husband feel VERY alone right now. So I appreciate it more then you will know. So thanks for the emails and comments.
Manda_In a perfect world ( : back to the east valley.Tempe,Chandler,Mesa..God Willing

My husband called our landlord this morning and he will be coming over tomorrow morning. That is when we will tell him what has happened.
When I say..We will be Homeless..I am NOT kidding! When you live paycheck to paycheck and then that paycheck is no longer there?? Well you get the picture. My husband has been in the business he is in for 15 years. Then we had our own business in between there for 5 years. So we have never had to think about this..Up until recently..I seen this coming.. He did not! But I would mention it to him but they kept him so busy at his job that he could not keep up. So really it makes no sense as to who is doing his job.
Tomorrow and what our current landlord has to say will determine what our decisions from here on out will be.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Where do I start?

We went out last night and used a certificate at a Greek restaurant..So you really end up paying next to nothing..
As far as calories go..I did not give a shit!!! You heard me right!! I had fried calamari..I even had cheesecake. I was still down on the scale today...(  ;
This was my test and I FAILED BIG TIME!!!! I just REALLY needed to get out of the house..
I sit in this house and cry..Thinking about the fact that 3 weeks from now..WE WILL BE HOMELESS!!!
I have already started packing. Yet we have no place to go.Do you have any idea what that feels like??
You don't want to!!

I don't even know where to begin..Jack just keeps cleaning..He cleans when he wants to keep shit off his mind!
His phone rings non-stop and dings non-stop with with emails from people from work giving him job leads..The days he left and the guy that had to do the "walk" said he had never seen a send off like he got.(They laid of about 500 Jobs) People were even crying! He was loved at his job! So people are really trying to help him get another job somewhere else.But it does not help out current situation. Since we live pay check to pay check. We have no choice but to move from where we are now because with out a check coming in every week we can't pay out rent.

I wish it was as simple as me going back to work. We even talked about that. But I have MAJOR vision issues. I am not even suppose to drive. We have one running vehicle right now and Jack will need that to find work.My profession was hair and there is NO WAY I could go back to that and since that is the ONLY thing that I could make money at right now. HE is our best bet.

So I am just going to keep packing..Why did this have to happen at all but in the summer!!!

Friday, June 3, 2011

What a disaster!! But atleast I am still losing ( ;

It is not Monday but it is has been a while has I have done a weigh in ..So I figured today was good as any..My current weight this morning was 171.5..I am so close to the 160..I just can't wait!!! I don't think I have been in the 60's since High School!!!! ..I am now in a size 14..It has been a while! I have not even bought any new clothes! I have one pair of shorts that are a size Junior 15/16..Which are a 14. I can still wear my 16 shorts though they are baggy.. I am not going to go buy a bunch of new shorts right now.Though I did try some on. That is how I know what size I am .I seem to be losing from my waist pretty fast so I want to wait and see how the next few weeks go..PLUS..I cant really afford it right now..I can afford to go to walmart and pick up a couple pars or shorts if I need to. But I will wait!

Now to the crappy news as to where I have been.. I have received a few emails and figured I would answer them all at once..Thanks for checking up on me.

Besides just having a lot going on..Day to day stuff which now seems like nothing..I got a call from Jack on Wednesday Morning.I was still sleeping..It came from his cell phone and he is not aloud to take his cell phone into work. So if he calls from his cell. It usually means that he is out buying something for the company like at COSCO or he is on a break..I did not get to the phone at first because I was sleeping.So I waited for a sec to see if a message would come through..Then I called him back..First thing he said was did you get my message,,living in this HELL HOLE called maricopa..We don't get message sometimes even text messages or calls.. Come to think of it..I still have not got the message..Anyways..The next thing he says to me..I GOT LAYED OFF..I said you are kidding right? I seriously thought he was joking!!! HE WAS NOT!!! I mean I had seen this coming for a very long time.
It was always my very greatest fear and now it has come true.
There are so many emotions that come with this..I am scared to dead! I feel as though we are going to be homeless by the end of the month..We can't stay in the current home we live in. We can't afford to live here. We live from pay check to pay check as it is.
Yet on the other hand..We have Jack who is ANGRY,SAD, PISSED OFF, Then HUMMIMG....You heard me right..HUMMING. He HATED working there!! It sucked the life out of him!!
I have certain family members like my grandmother who has said in the past..Is Jack OK??He don't look good? Because most days he hated life..He hated that job that much! But we needed the income and the insurance..NOW..He has no choice to go back.. They made that decision for him.
So on one hand. He is stressed out because he has all the weight on his shoulders of finding another job. But on the other hand he is glad to not be going back there. Now if they called tomorrow and said come back..Of course he would go!

We both have so much going through our heads right now as to what to do..We never really expected this to happen that we would have to scramble to find a place to live and pack and have a garage sell etc etc etc...I am so overwhelmed right now..The real kicker!!! We just signed a year lease LAST MONTH!! So we are praying that he will let us out of it! It is just a one guy sort of thing. He seems very nice..When we did sign the lease we told him that we wanted to only do a 6 Month and he said after 6 Months we could go Month to Month.So I hope he will just take the deposit and call it even.
But if jack does not find something we are up shit creek. So Right now we are moving! Jack went and got boxes this morning from a work friend. We will probably have a garage sell this next weekend. I cry thinking about everything I have to get rid of..It is just materialistic things..More of what I am crying about..Is the fact that I MYSELF have to do all of this. We did out last move by ourselves. I guess we will do it again. The only difference is this time I fear we have no home to go to! I will also be dead by the time it all over! My MS WILL NOT HOLD UP THROUGH THIS!!!  I have already been in bed the last 2 days!

I am trying to stay strong for him..He ALWAYS seems to walk in the moment that I am upset..I can go all day with out crying and the second I do is when he walks in!!