Day at the doc!

Yesterday was a scary day for me to say the least!

I hate having seizures. They really suck! Especially the ones that I have. I am aware of everything that is going on aware around me. But I am not able to react. On top of the I am hallucinating. So I am part in reality and part in dream world. So my body and myself are fighting against each other. Yesterdays was one of the worst since I could not breath. The entire time I was laying there and rocking my leg back and forth trying to keep myself from falling into it deeper because the deeper I fell the worse I was being suffocated. I know it sounds like a nightmare or something out of a horror film and that is exactly what is feels like to me. Like I am living a nightmare.

I emailed my husband Jack at work as soon as I got up and then questioned if I should have. Ten minutes later I got a text that he was on his way home. As soon as he got home he called my neurologist. They wanted me to come in right away. But my neurologist is something like 50 miles from me. I was exhausted and emotionally a wreck. So we went back and forth on the phone for a few minutes and I just told Jack to tell then I would think about it. I finally decided that I did not want to not go and then die in my sleep that night. So we called back and I went.

I got to see the Nurse Practitioner this time which I have never seen and I really like her. I had to go through everything and explain what had happened. Then explain a lot of the past and what has happened in the past which is similar to what had happened yesterday. They are kinda like dreams If I don't write them down or talk about them I forget them. I guess I had one about 6 months ago that Jack remembers where I also could not breath. But I can not remember the details of that one.

Then just like seeing any new doctor you have to explain your past.. Even though it is not a new doctor I have never seen her. So I went over EVERYTHING....

She left the room and at first they wanted me to have something called a ambulatory EEG..This is when they sleep deprive you and try and make you have a seizure. I would have went straight to the hospital for this. We talked a bit more and then finally decided on just and EEG that I make an Appointment for. Thank God!!!

I battle alot emotionally living with MS. So she wants to try me on an a antidepressant and many doctors have in the past. So I finally gave in. I wanted one that was affordable so I went with I think Paxil..Then last but not least I am going back on the disease modifying drug COPAXONE which I probably should have never went off to begin with..I just hate having to give myself a shot every single day of my life. But it is the hand I was dealt. I can cry,scream,yell and get mad but nothing changes the fact that I have MS and these drugs are what keep me healthy.I have a new symptom. One I am just not ready to talk about because I am so upset about it. Chances are had I been on my shots that I should have been on. I may not have developed this NEW symptom! I am very angry at myself. But all I can do is move forward. I am also scheduled to have a new MRI

So it was quite the appointment !!!!!

Then after I went SHOPPING hahahha
Plus to dinner..
It was off the plan we went to applebees. Off the batt. I asked for a to go box and I split my oriental chicken salad in half and got my dressing on the side. I also had 2 cheese sticks..I left feeling fine..Not stuffed..Like I ate just enough..
I am sure my calories were more then I would eat for dinner. But considering how much dressing and food they brought me. I could have done sooooo much worse!!! So I was good with it.

This morning or I should say AFTERNOON..I woke up feeling THIN. So I stepped on the scale 184.5 ..1.5lbs down in 2 days YIPEEEE It is no official weigh in ..But still I loved seeing that !