Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Here's to 30 more

I knew one day my blog would come in handy..
I was not sure what exactly that would be.

When I first started blogging I did this solely for myself! No one else..
If losing weight was not for me and for someone else I would have never stuck to it..
My husband was completely happy with my appearance. I am not really in any profession that I need to be slim
I can't even say that it was effecting my health in any serious way. But of course eating healthy and being healthy is always a bonus!
So this was for me..To look better. To like the way my clothes fit.  To be able to walk into any store and buy off the rack and not sift through the clothes hoping to find the largest size and then pray that it will fit. To have pictures taken and not want anyone to see them. To have more energy and on and on and on..

After I lost close to 40 pounds I went through some serious life changes and getting back on the healthy eating has been REALLY hard..So I recommend to anyone..If a week passes and you find that you are not doing what you were. Get back at it as soon as possible because the longer you let it go  it is that much harder to start again.

So that is the point I am at right now.
Getting started again to once and for all lose the next 30 or so pounds.
I did start last week but I was not as strict as I once was and lost 1 pound taking me down to 172.5

So for the last few days I have been doing what I did wayyyyy back in the beginning. I have started looking at youtube videos of transformations and started reading all my favorite blogs and magazines again.
This gets me motivated!!!

Then I decided to look at my own blog..This I have never had before. So it took me back to where I was a year ago and the things that I did back then. Including the things that I use to eat and make.
Even over the last few days I have been saying "wow I have not made this in a long time"
So now I have my own food diary to look back on what helped me lose those first 40 pounds!

I don't think that once I get back into it things should be so difficult. If I did it once I can do it again. RIGHT??

So for the next week I am going to be spending time rereading my blog and taking my own advice.

Friday, October 14, 2011

A new start!

I am still here and eating healthy..
I have been dealing with my MS lately and not so focused on losing weight.
When my MS gets this bad it is all I can focus on.

The weather is changing in Arizona so hopefully that will also make my health improve as well.
Not paying attention to every single thing that I eat has not effected my weight. I am not losing but not gaining either.
My body likes the current weight it is at. Everyone has a weight that your body gets comfortable at.Mine happens to be about 30 pounds more then I would like it to be.
I am proud of the weight that I did lose but I know that I would be even happier if I can break out of the 170's.

So that is my next goal..
My eating has not really changed..I may eat out a few more times then I use to. But when I am home I eat the same way.
That has helped me not to gain the weight back.
So if I want to lose more weight I know that I am going to have to change my diet to shock my system. So right now I am just trying to find the right plan for me.
I am not going to follow anything like Weight Watchers.Been there done that. It does not work for me. But clean eating does! So if I go back to being as strict as I was 9 months ago the weight should start coming off again. It is trying to get back to that point. It has been a while since I have been that strict with my diet!

I will probably keep my weigh-in day as Monday. But I weighed today since I have not been on the scale for a few months. I weighed in at 173.5 That is 3.5 pounds from my lowest weight.

Looking forward to a new start!!!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Weigh IN Plus some good news!

Of course again I forgot to weigh on Monday..

This morning I weighed in at 173.5
So I am down a pound. I am good with that. Every pound I lose that I gained over the last two months is one pound closer to the 160's and that is somewhere that I have NEVER been before.
So I am really looking forward to that!

I was on my way there when everything happened back in June..

Good news....
Now it is only a temp job..But it is a job and it pay much more then Unemployment.
The last time he had a Temp job doing just what he will be doing it turned into a full time job and he was with the company for 7 years.
So please pray that happens here as well..They interviewed 20 people and only hired 3..So they really liked him..This is what he was told by the Temp agency!
So FINALLY..Things are turning around for us..

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Making a change

I decided that I wanted to do something with my hair..
I have been thinking about this for a while now..Do I want to cut it? Huummmm
COLOR?? Well....I need that considering all the grey I now have! What color though????
I have NEVER gone lighter then my natural shade. Sure I have had highlights but I am a licensed hair dresser and never went fully blond. I also have not done anything with my hair for the last few years.

When you are in the salon you see everyone else getting their hair done so you want to get yours done. So every other week you are doing something different. That is how it was when I was working.
Now though I do nothing with hair.
The great thing about having a license is I can also buy everything at wholesale.
Trust me ladies I paid a pretty penny for that piece of paper and lots of hours in school. So I am paying for that product for SURE!! But it still feels nice to go in and buy all kinds of stuff at wholesale!
Lately though I have not stepped foot in a supply house. Not in a year maybe.

So....I finally decided I would do something with my hair. I was in the supply house for probably an hour or more. It has been a while and I could spend a lot of money in there that I don't have.
There is so much fun stuff in there! It is fun just to go and look! To see what is new!
I decided on a color and got a few other things and left!

Then when I started talking to Jack and telling him how I had never gone lighter blah blah he said then you should do that! OK..So there is this little thing where color does not lift color. So you then have to use bleach. I had been growing my hair out for a long time in hopes of growing out all my dark color so that I could lift my hair color with COLOR..NOT BLEACH! I have been examining my hair to see if I could see if I still had a hair color line in my hair..Now I have hair to my butt..So that will tell you how long I have been growing it out! The last couple days I have been going back and forth on what I should do.. DARK OR LIGHT??? Then this morning..I realized some time a few months back I put color on my hair!! It was one of those moments for some reason I don't remember too well..Yeah that is called Cognitive issues and they happen from time to time when you have MS. I just wish sometimes I would remember things a bit sooner..Hahaha
So after all that. I have no choice but to go darker because I won't put bleach on my hair!
Good thing I already have the color for it! When I was at the store I bought color to go DARK not light.

As far as cut goes...I don't know.. I never know. Leave it long for now I guess. I need to find a stylist that I trust for one thing. I have never gone to anyone that has not jacked up my hair. My husband cuts my hair better then anyone that has an education. It has not always been that way. The first time I coached him he really screwed it up. Since then he does the back and I do the front. I am just having him cut off and inch off the back. Trust me there are girls that can not do that right out there in the salons!

As soon as I color my hair I will post a before and after pic.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


Monday morning I actually forgot to weigh in!
I know...LOL
I just have not got back to swing of things. So I don't wake up on Monday morning thinking about weighing in.
Since I forgot I did remember this morning...174.5 That is my OFFICIAL weigh in!
So this is where I start AGAIN...

I have to admit. For me eating pretty much WHATEVER I wanted for 2 plus months. 4.5 Pound GAIN is not that bad. But when I look at the fact that I could have had 2 MONTHS of Loss..That is when it really sucks!

I am just happy I am not too far from where I left off.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Have to start eventually...RIGHT?

Tomorrow is my official weigh in day!
I am struggling with getting back in the groove of healthy dinners!
It has been so easy to just pop a dinner in the oven.

For the last 2 weeks since we moved into the new place my body GAVE OUT!
So I have been in bed and to the sofa but mostly in bed. So Jack has been doing the cooking or getting food to eat.
I typically just say WHATEVER you want..YES there are times for sure that I say that I want Mexican or something else. I am in NO WAY putting this on him. I am my own person.
But when you feel as I do...It is much easier to just give in and let him just make the WHATEVER....

So how do I get out of this and get back to healthy eating????
This is going to be my struggle.
I know it won't happen overnight. Like I said in previous post. Dinner is my only real issue.

So tomorrow is weigh day..I will just start from there.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I'M BACK...I brought some weigh back with me!

I said I would NEVER put the weight back on and NEVER go back to eating the way that I was..
Never say never..I should have learned that a long time ago.
LIFE can throw you some SERIOUS curve balls and if you are not prepared to deal with them emotionally and mentally YOU WILL go back to old habits just as I did.. I can guarantee you that!!!

June 1st..That was my day..That was the day that my husband told me that he lost his job.
I seen it coming for a while.. Even though it seemed as though he had job security..He was always REALLY busy. Had more work then he could keep up with. There was just little clues here and there. Like no overtime.. Things like that. Especially when he worked for a HUGE corporation.
He worked there for 7 years! So it was a big adjustment to make. We knew right off that we would have to move. We would not be able to afford where we were living. We had been needing and wanting to move anyways and it just gave us that extra push. With me on Disability and my husband now on Unemployment. Which let me tell you did not actually kick in till 2 weeks ago..Imagine the stress we have been under the last few months..We did not even know if we would qualify for another place to live!

So what did I do????I did what I do best!!! I ATE MY EMOTIONS!!!
Sure for the first week or so I cried EVERYDAY..So much so I could not catch my breath.
It is a VERY scary situation to be in to feel as though you are going to be homeless..
People would say.. What about family?? Well neither I nor my husband have ever been ones to involve our families in our personal business. We keep as much as possible to ourselves. NO..if it came down to it they would not put us out on the street.
Lets just say we are very grateful that some things lined up the way that they did financially because if they had not..Well.....I don't even want to think about that!

About 2 weeks ago we finally got all moved into our new place which is a Condo and about 1000 ft smaller than our last home and that has taken some adjustment.
We had movers do most of the moving and when I came into the place you could not walk..It was CRAZY!! I did not know how I was going to do it. The first Morning after I got up and spent 12 hours just on the kitchen. I have A LOT of kitchen stuff!
It is getting there..

A few days ago I was getting dressed to go to Target.. I am so HAPPY to have a Target down the street again. We were going to go have dinner and go to Target. I am just happy to be able to go anywhere and then be back home in 5-10 min instead of 45 minutes! Anyways. Jack walks in the room as I am getting dressed and asks what wrong? "I am so upset because all of my clothes are TOO BIG" Jack: Well that is better then too small right?
I guess at some point when you lose weight you just want you clothes to fit PERIOD!!

BUT what I am noticing right now is that I have gained weight.. I have been noticing it for a few weeks. My shorts are a bit tight.. The new ones..My bras are also a bit snug. I also just feel a bit bloated.
I have not been weighing. the scales have been packed. Plus when you eat WHATEVER..WHENEVER..Well, why weigh? I knew that I was up a couple of pounds from the last time I weighed.

Right now it is TOM..OH JOY!!! So as of right now it won't be accurate but I did dig out the scale.
Since June1st I have ate what I wanted in moderation. I still eat breakfast the same as always and lunch when I do eat lunch. Dinner is what gets me and eating ice cream at night. The ice cream at night has always been a down fall of mine and I fear it always will be and to tell you the truth I am OK with that.
But we have ate out A LOT and picked up food etc...So not the healthiest.

Two night ago I got on the scale at 179
This morning it read 176.5
I am on the tail end of TOM..
I will weigh again on Monday which is my official weigh in day. So in 2 Months and 10 days I gained somewhere around 6.5 pounds.
Which trust me!! I am NOT happy about! I was so close to the 160's and if I had stayed on course I would now be in the 150's. ...MAYBE.

So..I had my fun? If that is what I should call it. These last few months have been anything but fun!
It's time to get back to eating healthy and dropping the pounds and blogging and getting caught back up with all of you.

Friday, July 15, 2011

OLD POST...Decided to post it..

This was in my to be posted folder... I wanted to go ahead and post it to have to look back on later.

It's been a while..
I have neglected my blog..I have also neglected my blog friends BUT not my self!! Not too much anyway!
I am not going to sit here and say that I have not ate pizza or had Mexican food because that would be a flat out LIE!!! I have had more of that in a month then I have had in a year..But not eating any other time of the day has actually caused me to maintain or lose..I know..NOT healthy!!! I am doing the best I can considering my current situation.

Have I lost? Yes..Has it been much..NO
I am right now at about 170.. Still waiting for that 169. But I am fine with where I am at right now.

Jack celebrated his birthday on June 20Th..He did not think he would have much of a birthday. Early that morning we were in Casa Grande sitting in the DES office.. What fun is that on your birthday!!
By lunch time though we were at lunch..Then we went shopping and headed to the mall.
I had no intentions of shopping for myself that day but let me tell you..If you were to look in my closet at the clothes that I have!!! You yourself would be telling me to go by some clothes!!
Everything that I have is swimming on me and that is no joke..I own one pair of shorts that REALLY fits!
Now you will find this funny but odd..I have NEVER and I do mean NEVER worn a tank top in my adult life that I can remember. I was always too self conscious. Since I lost the weight I have been fine with it. But I only own ONE. Living in Arizona I figured it would be nice to finally have more then one with it being now 115 degrees outside. So..when we went into the mall I decided I would just LOOK..It was a nice surprise to see that things were on sale..I grabbed a few sizes and went into the dressing room.

Every top that I grabbed was a tank top and every single one that I grabbed I liked and they were all under $10..I have NEVER gone into a dressing room and liked everything that I tried on!
Now came the shorts..I unbuttoned them..Went to slip one leg know that feeling when you go to slide the shorts or pants on and you just know then if they are going to fit..I was thinking to myself..NO WAY!!! Well guess what..I was wrong!!! They did fit! I was undecided if I wanted to buy them because they were $20 and I can not afford even that right now..But I have not bought any clothes since I have lost weight. So Jack said go ahead and buy them.. You need clothes!! I get to the register..They rang up at $10! So..I bought 6 Tops and a pair of shorts for $50. Not bad considering right now..My closet is full of tents! Plus we had a garage sell this past weekend which made us over $200...So I was OK with it!

As soon as I can I will take some pictures!

Now onto what is currently going on...
Truthfully..We are in limbo...
We have an awesome landlord that let us out of our lease. So..We have spent the last week and half looking for a place. It is a daunting task! We know the area that we want to live. It is just really hard to make a final decision. There are so many places and so many listings. You just want to keep looking.
So we are going to go our one more day which will be Friday and then we will make a final decision from there. If we still can't decided then we will have to stay where we are for one more month.
We are coming to end of the month here and we are not packed..It is a lot of work! We still have so much more to do.
This is SO hard on ME!! We went out yesterday in the heat and that KILLS me!!
I have what you would call and ice vest..It is suppose to keep my body temperature down when I am in extreme heat.The problem is..I cant find it!!! So by the end of the day I am really sick! The next day I am also really sick..
Yesterday I only made it to 2PM..I only made it about 3 hours.We got a late start and it was just way too hot.My body could not handle it! But we did find a potential home.( The one we are waiting to hear back from now)

So at this point we are not sure if we are able to be packed,hire movers,etc etc..If not we will just do it next month. We would like to do it this month.Then Jack can concentrate on finding a new job.
Everything will work out one way or another..We will just keep doing what we are..

Check back for pictures!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I am back..Well...I will be very soon

Right now I have no choice but to take a break from blogging..
I have so much going on with moving,packing,trying to find a place to live and all the stress that comes along with it..

I have tryed to keep up with it..But then i would find that I would start a blog and then it would sit in my to be sent folder for days and then it would be to outdated to post..

So my plan is to just wait until I get through everything which should not be much longer and then I will pick up where I left off...

Are you wondering how my diet is going??
Well if you are wondering if I have been eating healthy..The answer is NO..Not the way that I should be.
It is not CLEAN be any means..When you spend a day of packing or a day out in the heat looking for a place to live the last thing you want to do is come home and cook. So we have done a lot of eating out.
I know that I need to learn to be able to work these types of things into my life if I am ever going to succeed..But I had A LOT thrown at me..More then just ONE THING! So it was just too overwhelming.
But overall I am doing ok..

Have I gained? Yes and no..It goes up and down by 2 pounds..So I have not lost..That is for sure.

As soon as this is all over I am right back to it...

It is AMAZING that is for sure how fast you can go right back to old habits..I have not picked back up all bad habits..I have not gone that far.The worst has just been eating out..I have still stuck with my morning healthy breakfast. The worst has just been eating out for dinner.

So I am not giving up on myself..I am still very proud of how far I have come.
I am wearing tank tops for the first time in my adult life..I was always way to self conscious to EVER wear a tank top and I live in Arizona..I would not even wear them at home. Now I am wearing them almost everyday.
I said I would not go shopping. But I had no choice. I got lucky and was able to find some really great sales. Even bought a pair of shorts in a size that I have not worn since HS.. How cool is that!!

So there is no way that I am going to go back to where I was..This is just a bump in the road.
Come August.. I am thinking the second week of August or so I should be able to get back to things..

I have to say I REALLY do miss eating healthy and I can feel a difference in my body!

Monday, June 6, 2011

Updates..Monday weigh_in & life

My OFFICIAL weigh in this morning..171. So I am down 4.5 pounds in 3 weeks.. I am good with that!
The scale actually read 169.5 this morning. I got on then off.. On then off..About 5 times. Then it read 171.. I am going with 171. I have a doc appointment on Thursday and it is usually right on. My scale has been wacky lately! It is Right 90% of the time. 171 seems to be more accurate to me.I will weigh again later today or tomorrow and see if it is still around the same.( I am not eating much lately) But truthfully....The number is not really a big deal. I want to get to the 60's but I remember when I was fighting to get out of 184..I HATED that number!! Now all my clothes are falling off. So I am going more by how my clothes fit and how I feel. Not so much by what the scale reads. That is why I have not been so consistent with my weigh-ins.It is just not as important to me. I mean sure it is important that I don't let it creep back up..But it won't..I would NEVER..EVER go back to the way I use to eat..EVER!!! So that would not happen. It comes down to the littlest things..WATER..Who would have thought that your body requires as much water as it does. I don't think that most people understand that if you JUST drink more water that you will lose weight JUST doing that! I don't drink ANYTHING else. I do have ONE diet soda at night with dinner and I am not even sure why I do that. I am now drinking Diet Right I think it is called. It has no caffeine,sodium..NADA..My aunt Becky recommended it..So I have one glass at night. Other then that it is water all day. I feel as though I would die with out it! I know that sounds drastic. I guess now that I drink a certain amount my body just will NOT allow me to have any less.

You all have been so honest and forthcoming with me. So I know that I am able to be the same with you when it comes to talking about what is going on in my life right now.
Thank you for all of the support that I have received. Me and my husband feel VERY alone right now. So I appreciate it more then you will know. So thanks for the emails and comments.
Manda_In a perfect world ( : back to the east valley.Tempe,Chandler,Mesa..God Willing

My husband called our landlord this morning and he will be coming over tomorrow morning. That is when we will tell him what has happened.
When I say..We will be Homeless..I am NOT kidding! When you live paycheck to paycheck and then that paycheck is no longer there?? Well you get the picture. My husband has been in the business he is in for 15 years. Then we had our own business in between there for 5 years. So we have never had to think about this..Up until recently..I seen this coming.. He did not! But I would mention it to him but they kept him so busy at his job that he could not keep up. So really it makes no sense as to who is doing his job.
Tomorrow and what our current landlord has to say will determine what our decisions from here on out will be.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Where do I start?

We went out last night and used a certificate at a Greek restaurant..So you really end up paying next to nothing..
As far as calories go..I did not give a shit!!! You heard me right!! I had fried calamari..I even had cheesecake. I was still down on the scale today...(  ;
This was my test and I FAILED BIG TIME!!!! I just REALLY needed to get out of the house..
I sit in this house and cry..Thinking about the fact that 3 weeks from now..WE WILL BE HOMELESS!!!
I have already started packing. Yet we have no place to go.Do you have any idea what that feels like??
You don't want to!!

I don't even know where to begin..Jack just keeps cleaning..He cleans when he wants to keep shit off his mind!
His phone rings non-stop and dings non-stop with with emails from people from work giving him job leads..The days he left and the guy that had to do the "walk" said he had never seen a send off like he got.(They laid of about 500 Jobs) People were even crying! He was loved at his job! So people are really trying to help him get another job somewhere else.But it does not help out current situation. Since we live pay check to pay check. We have no choice but to move from where we are now because with out a check coming in every week we can't pay out rent.

I wish it was as simple as me going back to work. We even talked about that. But I have MAJOR vision issues. I am not even suppose to drive. We have one running vehicle right now and Jack will need that to find work.My profession was hair and there is NO WAY I could go back to that and since that is the ONLY thing that I could make money at right now. HE is our best bet.

So I am just going to keep packing..Why did this have to happen at all but in the summer!!!

Friday, June 3, 2011

What a disaster!! But atleast I am still losing ( ;

It is not Monday but it is has been a while has I have done a weigh in ..So I figured today was good as any..My current weight this morning was 171.5..I am so close to the 160..I just can't wait!!! I don't think I have been in the 60's since High School!!!! ..I am now in a size 14..It has been a while! I have not even bought any new clothes! I have one pair of shorts that are a size Junior 15/16..Which are a 14. I can still wear my 16 shorts though they are baggy.. I am not going to go buy a bunch of new shorts right now.Though I did try some on. That is how I know what size I am .I seem to be losing from my waist pretty fast so I want to wait and see how the next few weeks go..PLUS..I cant really afford it right now..I can afford to go to walmart and pick up a couple pars or shorts if I need to. But I will wait!

Now to the crappy news as to where I have been.. I have received a few emails and figured I would answer them all at once..Thanks for checking up on me.

Besides just having a lot going on..Day to day stuff which now seems like nothing..I got a call from Jack on Wednesday Morning.I was still sleeping..It came from his cell phone and he is not aloud to take his cell phone into work. So if he calls from his cell. It usually means that he is out buying something for the company like at COSCO or he is on a break..I did not get to the phone at first because I was sleeping.So I waited for a sec to see if a message would come through..Then I called him back..First thing he said was did you get my message,,living in this HELL HOLE called maricopa..We don't get message sometimes even text messages or calls.. Come to think of it..I still have not got the message..Anyways..The next thing he says to me..I GOT LAYED OFF..I said you are kidding right? I seriously thought he was joking!!! HE WAS NOT!!! I mean I had seen this coming for a very long time.
It was always my very greatest fear and now it has come true.
There are so many emotions that come with this..I am scared to dead! I feel as though we are going to be homeless by the end of the month..We can't stay in the current home we live in. We can't afford to live here. We live from pay check to pay check as it is.
Yet on the other hand..We have Jack who is ANGRY,SAD, PISSED OFF, Then HUMMIMG....You heard me right..HUMMING. He HATED working there!! It sucked the life out of him!!
I have certain family members like my grandmother who has said in the past..Is Jack OK??He don't look good? Because most days he hated life..He hated that job that much! But we needed the income and the insurance..NOW..He has no choice to go back.. They made that decision for him.
So on one hand. He is stressed out because he has all the weight on his shoulders of finding another job. But on the other hand he is glad to not be going back there. Now if they called tomorrow and said come back..Of course he would go!

We both have so much going through our heads right now as to what to do..We never really expected this to happen that we would have to scramble to find a place to live and pack and have a garage sell etc etc etc...I am so overwhelmed right now..The real kicker!!! We just signed a year lease LAST MONTH!! So we are praying that he will let us out of it! It is just a one guy sort of thing. He seems very nice..When we did sign the lease we told him that we wanted to only do a 6 Month and he said after 6 Months we could go Month to Month.So I hope he will just take the deposit and call it even.
But if jack does not find something we are up shit creek. So Right now we are moving! Jack went and got boxes this morning from a work friend. We will probably have a garage sell this next weekend. I cry thinking about everything I have to get rid of..It is just materialistic things..More of what I am crying about..Is the fact that I MYSELF have to do all of this. We did out last move by ourselves. I guess we will do it again. The only difference is this time I fear we have no home to go to! I will also be dead by the time it all over! My MS WILL NOT HOLD UP THROUGH THIS!!!  I have already been in bed the last 2 days!

I am trying to stay strong for him..He ALWAYS seems to walk in the moment that I am upset..I can go all day with out crying and the second I do is when he walks in!!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

I sat here for a few minutes not knowing how to start this post..
Just like I have not known how to start most of my days for the last few months.
I have been lost~!

Somewhere along the line I slowly fell off course. I never completely said I am done..
I never quite..I never threw in the towel..
But we all know that point where we look back and say where did we go wrong.
Well I am at that point.
I have gained no weight..I have not stopped eating healthy. But I HAVE had a few slip ups..I have had many days of I just don't care.
I miss that fire..That intense WANT and knowing that I can do anything that I set my mind to. That I can for once in my life see finish line..That had all gone away.

I have all the knowledge to get to where I need to be..
I have done all the research..I have the plan the works for ME!
Then life happened..That may sound like an excuse..but when you are dealing with extreme pain,financial issues etc and it is all thrown at you at once. The last thing I wanted to think about was food or my program.I have since realized that if this is ever going to work I have learn to deal with my emotions and still stick with my program. The worst thing for me is to be physically stressed out with my MS.. Then to be making it worse with eating unhealthy as well..
During this time there were days where I said I just don't care and we ate out at Mexican restaurants and ate pizza or Taco Bell..I have to be honest here in saying..I just don't think that I can ever say that I will NEVER EVER again go to out favorite Mexican food or eat pizza..But I did all of this in one month.

I am still dealing with dental issues..Not sure yet what is going on there.
Dental pain is hard to deal with!! So if you are putting it off. Take care of it now.

I did weigh on Monday and I was down to 174.5 and this morning it said 173.5 So the scale is moving again..I look forward to getting into the 160's.
I am back in the right mind frame..The package that I ordered should arrive today or tomorrow..YEAH
Then I will let you know what I ordered!

I also need to get on that treadmill.. I am so bad about the exercise..It is so hard on me..Worse with the heat now! It just makes me so sick.
But I am really feeling like I am back to where I was 3 months ago.
To be excited to the scale get moving again.Its a great thing!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Lazy weekend...Pizza included..Monday..Strict Clean eating!!!!

Last night was spent at home with the hubby..Since I has slept all day I had no dinner plans and I gave in!!!
He went to the store and got a pizza!!! UGH Then we watched a movie called Never let me go
This happens MAYBE once every few months. It is NOT a good thing.(eating pizza) But yes it did happen.
It is called being lazy. I could have taken the time to defrost some chicken in the microwave and then come up with something. But I did not do that. I am not perfect and don't plan to be. But I have come a long way. I also recognise a pattern..I can't let these days build up. It usually happens right after I get paid. More money to eat out!

Either today or tomorrow I will be going to the grocery store..
I am going to try and get back into using coupons..I use to be so good at using coupons.Anyone watching extreme couponing on TLC?? Well that was me just 2 years ago.. Then when we moved I slowly tapered off..Then I started eating healthy and it got even worse. But there are coupons for toiletries. I use to have an entire pantry that was a stock pile and I would like to get back to that. It will take me some time to build my stock of coupons again before I can even start saving.
If you have never REALLY used coupons before you can save so much it is like having a job. So I am going to get back into it as much as I can..If you want to start small..Right now if you go onto fresh and easy website you can print a $6 0ff $30 and grocery stores that takes competitive coupons will take it..If you live in Arizona you can use it at Frys or Albertsons.. Just print the coupon.. You can actually print a few and if you order is more then $30 say...$130 You can split you transaction into multiple transactions and use multiple $6 off $30..So there is one way for you to go shopping tomorrow and save some money.

This is going to be a lazy weekend..Movies and hanging at home with the hubby!
We got some good news this week..So I feel like I can finally breath a little...
I am not so stressed out as I was for the last month!!!! When I get stressed about a certain thing it is ALL I think about.. It consumes my every thought..Makes me actually SICK!!! So I am glad that has passed..
Sure everyone has stress but I have explained it here before..My body handles stress differently.
So every time the thought would come in to my mind..I would start to have pins and needles pop up in my skin..if it was visible. That is exactly what you would see..A bunch of little tiny needles rise to the surface of my skin every time that I get stressed or upset.. Just like when Pinocchio would lie and his nose would grow.Well I grow needles when I get stressed or upset..
So YES.. I am very happy NOT to have to think about what I was thinking about day and night anymore.

Monday starts a very strict detailed CLEAN EATING program!!!
Details to follow..(  :

Friday, May 20, 2011

Quick Update

This will be a quick post tonight..
I am feeling a little better..I went and seen the doc yesterday. A very long drive to be told everything looks fine.
I still slept most of the day today on an ice pack. Dental pain is hard to deal with but I am getting there.

On our way home from the dentist we stopped and ate at Chevys mexican food.While there I told Jack I don't know if I will ever be able to order CLEAN in a restaurant..I did order a salad..It came with bacon and I got that on the side..But it had blue cheese and this diet you really should not eat cheese and lets face it the dressing was a no go either..But I could have made a worse choice at that restaurant for sure!

I have ordered a couple of things in the mail that I am really excited about..It is not often that I spend money on myself..I just don't!! You should have seen my yesterday while at biglots trying to decide on whether or not to buy a cooler. I just have a really hard time spending money on myself. If it is for the house or food. Sure fine no problem.. But if it is for ME..I have a real problem with that!! Now that I think about it thought..What I bought is sort of for the home. I will get it next week. Then I will let you know what I ordered.

It's going to be a long night..

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Weigh in and continued dental issues!

I have not gone anywhere..I am still here.
I am REALLY REALLY struggling with my dental issues!!
I did go and have my Wisdom teeth removed as planned.
All went as planned. I chose to do it as a local. I figured that I could handle it.
Everything went fine..
Afterward I was so relived to have those things out! There was TWO..One on top and one on the bottom. Both on the same side of my mouth. The bottom one is the one that was causing all the pain and is also the one that was impacted. It came out in a couple of pieces.
After he was done and we left I was numb for like 8 hours. It was the best feeling EVER!!! I had been in pain for so long!!!! Since then....I have been in agony!!! AGAIN!!!!
Part of it I am sure is just natural healing..But I should be getting better day by day and I am not.
Tomorrow is my one week follow up. So I will get to find out what is going on. I probably should have called by now. But I have just been on ice and taken lots of Advil. The top has never hurt. It is still the bottom..So who knows!! I am just so done with this!!!

During this process I had to do many salt water rinses..As we know salt is not good for weigh loss.
At one point I got in the scale and it read 180..I could not believe it..I NEVER wanted to see that number EVER again on the scale!! I am still having to do salt water rinses but not as often.

Monday was weigh day..175.5...So I am right around where I was..
I am still eating healthy and following the EAT CLEAN plan..Right now because of my dental issues I am not eating much of anything..Yogurt and soft fruit..Anything that will not hurt to chew.

I am just trying to get threw this right now..Having dental pain is hard to deal with day after day!!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Tomorrow is the day! Oral Surgery..Blah..Can't WAIT.So I can get Back to life!

*Some are interested in my dentist. For privacy reasons if you could shoot me an email
I can then give you all the details. They are great! Super friendly office and the doctors are great as well. No matter who you get. I have seen Two so far. Then I was reffered to an Oral surgen and he is just as great! So just shoot me an email and I wil give you all the details!*


Tomorrow is the day!!
I am sooooo not looking forward to it!

You know what else sucks..The TWO pounds I have gained from doing salt water rinses!!!
Oh well..This will soon pass and I will be back on the track to getting healthy and losing the last 35-40 pounds that I need to lose.
This is just a bump in the road!

My appointment is early in the morning.
I am really torn on what to do about something.

I have a very high tolerance to medication. I have been taking pain medication for 7 plus years.
So when it comes to having MRI's, Colonoscopy etc..They have tried in the past to put me to sleep with just general anesthesia..Just with an IV and something like Demerol. This in the past has NEVER worked. I would be WIDE awake and they would be looking at me like I was a crazy person from another dimension and wondering how in the heck I was laying on table STILL talking to them. The doc asking the nurse beside him YOU DID give her the FULL DOSAGE RIGHT???? It is always the same thing. Plus I always tell them this before they try.
They have started to listen to me. My last MRI I was under fully with the Tub and everything.
I wish this was not the case. But I also wish I did not have MS..But I wish a lot of things..
When I had my consultation with the oral surgeon we decided just to go with a local. He said he could get them out in 20 minutes.
Because of our financial situation I had made the decision that I want to just do it that way..Jack then called back and found out that with our insurance it is $60 more to have IV sedation on top of the local.
I kind of feel like it will be throwing that money away. I mean maybe my body will react different to the meds this time. I may just lie there awake as always. I have no idea..He told me I could take my own ativan. So I have many choices here. It is one that will be made last minute because I am going to ask to talk to him in the morning.

I am really glad these last two suckers are finally coming out!!! But I am also going to be in some extreme pain for a while till it heals..

I am just ready for a break! If it is not one thing it is another..
I can't handle any more pain. I keep thinking that if I get healthier,thinner and stronger..That maybe my body will fight back a bit. Well so far I have not been able to get much healthier or thinner because I am always in pain and always dealing with some kind of aliment..SICK OF IT!!! FED UP!!

I am going to keep going. I have no other choice..Another bump in the road to reach my success.
As soon as I can get back to it I will and I mean RIGHT as soon as I feel up too it..I will be do doing meal planning from bed! Plus RE-READING The Clean Eating Diet!

I will let you all know how tomorrow goes...Until then..Sweet dream ♥

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Getting back to blogging and dealing with my teeth!

I feel as though I have abandoned my blog..) :
That is not the case!

So the last thing I have been wanting to discuss is FOOD! Anything related to food and YES that includes my diet!
I am still eating healthy..To a point..I say this for a reason which I will get into.

I finished reading the Eat Clean Diet Book up to the point that I now know EXACTLY how to follow the program and I am not just winging it.
So every time I am out I pick up something that I need and as of lately I have not been getting out much. So even Jack gets me things on the way home..But then again..He has ALWAYSSSS done that!!! But I do have an awesome husband!

On the eat clean program for 99% of it you will have it in your pantry or in your fridge but there are a couple of food items that are out of the ordinary so you will need to go and look for them..I have never had Organic Apple Cider Vinegar..Sure I have had Apple Cider Vinegar. But not ORGANIC..There is a HUGE difference...Then there is Flax Seed.. What did I EVER do with out FLAX SEED???? I will NEVER again go another day without it!!! EVER!!!!..Some people make the mistake of buying it whole. Your body will not get any nutrients from whole Flax Seed. It will just pass right through you. So make sure you get ground. I prefer it lightly ground..Then I put it in my yogurt in the morning. You can also get it where it ground down to powder and then mix it into your soups and stews and such. But I REALLY love the taste...So I stick with the lightly ground. YUM!!
But I really had no huge adjustments that I had to make..
Well ONE....

How on earth do I eat 5-6 meals a day???
I just cannot figure this out!
My breakfast is my biggest meal of the day hands down.
I have even tried to cut it down. But I am hungry in the morning.
This is what I eat in the morning..
Fruit..1 Orange 4 Strawberries 1/2 banana
1 Yogurt 3tsp Flax Seed
Then either 1 cup of steel cut oatmeal or Ezekiel bread and Almond Butter.
It's probably about 350 calories give or take..
Sometimes I leave out the toast and oatmeal but later I always end up having it..
Regardless if i am going to have a large meal breakfast should be the one and I am not having anything bad!
BUT...I am not hungry the rest of the day..Not until Jack gets home and we have dinner. Then I will have a snack and bed. My day is something like that. Not always. But for the most part. Breakfast for sure..EVERYDAY is EXACTLY LIKE THAT!!!
So I bought a dry erase calendar in hopes that I can plan out my weeks and meals.
Not sure how well that will go.
I am open to any and all advice..

Now as to why I have been missing for a while..
About a week ago I started having Jaw pain. I was not sure if it was a tooth or what it was. I was just at the dentist back in November and had some work done on the left side of my mouth and had 1 wisdom tooth taken out by the dentist. Then I was suppose to go back in December and have my right side done and also go to another doc and have my other 2 wisdom surgically removed since they are impacted. Well come December with it being the holiday and the fact I did way too much I ended up having an MS(multiple sclerosis) flare. So I never made it and never rescheduled..I mean who LIKES going right?? So I was like...I'll get to it.
Well wouldn't you know...It got to me first!
It started out as just a tooth ache/Jaw pain
I figured it would be one of these things where the tooth hurts for a day or two and then goes away.
Nope that did not happen..Not even for a day!
If anything it just got worse.To the point I would just sit up in bed and try and sleep sitting up. The pressure from laying down is just too much!
So come last Friday..I was like I just can't deal with this another minute! Jack called the dentist on Saturday morning and they said if you can be here in an hour..I really love my dentist. So if you live in Arizona and you need a dentist.. They are in the Mesa area..But anyways..I went in on Saturday morning after no sleep..I had just laid down when Jack came in the bedroom and said dentist in an hour!So we get there do two x-rays..I am so excited thinking that I am about to be out of pain. The doc comes in looks in my mouth and tells me that I have a wisdom tooth pushing on the tooth in front of it!!! I knew right off which one he was referring to. I knew that I had one that was in sideways.Still under the gum.So this was NOT something that the dentist could take care of! So more waiting!!! I was in agony....
It was not until Today Tuesday that I was able to get in to see the oral surgeon to discuss taking out the 2 remaining wisdom teeth that I have left...I am STILL in extreme pain! I have lived on Advil and Orajel.The Orajel barely touches it. But it is all I got. Finally today I got some mouth rinse and was told to use salt water.
Thursday is the day..That is when I get these sucks out! I will still be in pain for a while till I heal.
Then once I do. I will be ready to get right back to things.

My weight had not changed..Though I have not done an official weigh in for months!! The last time I checked it was still at 178. Still at a gain of 3 pounds. But I am confident that as soon as I get passed this dental issue and really start doing the clean eating program the way that it is suppose to be done...I will drop those 3 pounds in the first week. So I am not worried about it!

For now..I am eating healthy,Drinking my water,Taking my meds and sleeping as often as possible!
The less I have to be awake..The less I have to deal with the amount of pain I in!.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

I am back!

I have not disappeared...
I am still here and still eating healthy.

I was just on a BLOG break if you will.
I need one of those every now and then.

I have been getting caught up on reading Tosca Renos Eat Clean Diet
I have since bought a few new products..
Almond Butter..YUM
Flax seed..Love it!!!
Ezekiel Bread..This is also really good I put Almond Butter on this bread and it is a meal. The bread is a complete protein made with no flour.

My weight loss has come to a hault. As a matter of fact I have GAINED 4 POUNDS.. But I am OK with it..Right now I am more focused on adjusting my diet. Things were all out of whack there for a while and I was not sure what program to follow or how many calories to eat. Sure the pounds were coming off the scale but I was not sure why..Plus I knew that it would not keep up and it didn't.I have not gone off of my healthy eating..There is no reason that I can pin point as to why I have gained 4 pounds..These pounds were here prior to Easter Holiday..It fluctuates between 3-4 pounds.
Just recently I stoped eating ICE CREAM all together. That was in the last week..So that also means I will be eating less honey.
I have also finished reading the Eat Clean PLAN.. Not the book. Just the plan.. So I know how it works and what I am to do now..So I will be adjusting my diet accordingly..When I say "DIET" I just mean what I will be eating for the day. This is NOT a DIET!!!
This will be the way that I eat for the rest of my life..I have been eating this way since last summer and for the most part it is the same just with a few tweaks..For example..I am going to switch to 6 small meals a day. I am use to 2 meals and snacks. I also can't rave enough about Almond Butter and Flax seed!!! But in future post I will get more in detail about MY program and the way I will do things.

So In no time these few pounds that I have gained over the last 2 weeks will fall off..I have no doubt about that!
I have already noticed a difference in the way my internal plumbing is working..(  ;

As far as how my brain is working??? I wish that I could find the MAGIC SEED FOR THAT!!!
This morning I asked Jack what he wanted for breakfast.. Toast Almond Butter and Yogurt with Fruit and he kept telling me that he did or did not want yogurt.Within two minutes I kid you not I could not remember and this happened 3 times. All two minutes apart. They call this cognitive issues when you have MS..It's a scary thing when it does happen..

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Week of meals In pictures...

I did not take as many pictures this week as I had hoped. Jack makes a lot of the meals and by the time we would sit down to eat I would forget to take a picture. So for the most part this week you get breakfast. This week I will work on taking more pictures of dinner! As you will see it is ALWAYS fruit and GREEK YOGURT and then either Steel cut oats with PB2 and Agave or for a while there I was eating a cereal that was made with Flax.(DRY) Just last night I bought a big bag of ground Flax so this morning I made steel cut oats with Flax,Almond Butter and Agave..It was delish!
Not Pictured..Will be next week..(  :

Green Tea,Steel Cut Oats,Banana Agave

No sugar added ice cream and chocolate PB2

Kashi TLC Cookie

Turkey and mustard on sourdough

Monday, April 25, 2011

Easter...Food and more food!

Had a great Easter Sunday at  my Aunts with my Family! All good intentions to eat healthy but it did not exactly happen that way!
I ate what was there which included sides made with mayonnaise..Everything was really good! Not even on Christmas or Thanksgiving do I think that I ate what I did yesterday. Then we left and went to my Grandmothers and she had this amazing cobbler that I just had to try.. That did me in!!! Heck ONE DAY..I won't beat myself up about it..On our way home last night we stoped at Whole Foods and I bought a big bag of ground flax seed,small packet almond butter (try),strawberries,really raw honey,pasta sauce and whole grain pasta...

This morning I made my steel cut oats added in 2Tbs of Flax..It says that is a serving size. Then I added 1/2 the packet of almond butter and some agave..It was really good...!!!! I also had fruit and my Greek Yogurt... of course.The only thing is the ratio of flax,oats to almond butter...I just could not taste it. So it was wasted calories. I should have just used the whole packet. I was trying to save calories but instead I lost the taste all together!

It was really nice this morning after yesterdays free for all to get back to my healthy eating that is for sure!!!!! The food was good..But I use to eat like that all the time or at least close to it..That is how I got to over 200 pounds and it would be really easy to go back that way again..
I was not even done eating my meal and my stomach was killing me!!!
Then what did I bring???Cookies!!! I did not make them.. I bought them on the way there. We just have A LOT going on right now and did not have a chance to make anything. So on the way I stoped at walmart. I ate TWO of the cookies..Same thing..My stomach was killing me..But by the time I ate the cobbler at my grandmothers my stomach was ALLLLL ADJUSTED...That did not take long!!!!

Today I am back to the program and that is what is different from now to every other time I EVER tried to lose weight..The second I put something into my mouth that was considered a NON "diet" food that was it...IT WAS OVER!!!! Maybe I was just not ready?

The last few weeks have been HARD!! I have NOT been eating as well as I should. It goes right back to my emotional eating.When I stress I eat! When I am sad I eat!..Not sure what it will take for me to get over this. I am definitely much better.I would never have lost the weight that I have if I was still up all night eating my physical pain away. Because trust me..When I am in PHYSICAL pain what I WANT to do is EAT..That is something I am dealing with and it is HARD!!! It is a DAILY battle one I hope that I overcome some day very soon and one I am not sure I can overcome on my own because the physical pain is not going anywhere and food is not going anywhere either. So when you are alone as many hours any given day as I am....That is a lot of time to force yourself to do other things then eat!!!

Summer has also started here in Arizona and living with MS the heat is really hard on me..So just a lot going on..Plus stuff I am just NOT talking about for privacy reasons..I will adjust and get back to my regular routine. I have to!!! That scale needs to get moving again! I have a GOAL and I need to reach that goal!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Wedding Dress 13 years and 35 Pounds ago!

The other day I decided it was time to clean out the garage..We have been wanting to have a garage sell and our garage is a mess..Plus it is summer here now and the cars need to get in the garage..While doing this I came across my wedding dress. Now you may be thinking..Wedding dress in the garage in Arizona?? Well right after I got married 13 years ago I had it sealed in one of those boxes..Regardless years ago I opened it..Don't waist your money. It really was just wrapped in plastic twice and double boxed which I could have done on my own for $100...
So after losing a total of 35 pounds since last summer I decided that I would try it on. My body has changed since I was 21 years old that is for sure. So I had no idea how it would fit..So if you are now in early 20's and your mom tells you that her body changes..It is TRUE with or WITHOUT having children!
So I drug the thing in the house and pressed play on my video camera..

I felt at the time that the dress fit ok..But looking back..I was stuffed into that dress!! That seamstress did everything she could to make sure that she could cover up all the bunching that was caused by my hips being so wide that the dress would not lay flat. The worst of it was in the back and was covered by the bow. Today when I tried on the dress it fit so much different!! I still love the dress if not more!

I notice a lot in  my arms..!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Emotional eating. Just when I think I have it under control!

How do you know when standing in front of the fridge looking for something to eat has gone from just being hungry to full blown emotional eating and how do you stop it before it gets out of control??
I seem to have gone from doing great to being full blown sick from eating myself into a coma!
I thought I knew all the signs to look for!! I just told them to you and myself just the other day! " If you look for junk food you are NOT hungry! If you want an actual meal then you are hungry" So then what went wrong?" I'll tell you what went wrong....LIFE!!!
The problem is I did not see it coming and did not expect it and I should have. I was not prepared to deal with it. I am still not prepared to deal with it.

We are dealing with some financial issues that are beyond our control. As I have told you all before Jack usually keeps this all to himself but sometimes he has no choice but to tell me. Because of the fact I don't EVER deal with financial responsibilities in our household when I do have to every now and then it causes me MAJOR stress because I am NOT use to it.. I am sure you can understand that. This is just the way things have been for us over the years. When I met my husband he had been on his own for years. So he just continued to pay the bills.

I in general don't handle stress well..I am working on it! It is part of the new me. It will not happen over night. Just like losing weight will not happen over night.

This is sort of like a puzzle. Without all the pieces the puzzle will NEVER be completed.
I hold all the puzzle pieces. I am working on one puzzle one piece at a time. Each piece is different..takes on a different problem, issue and solution. When I am done and all the puzzle pieces fit together I will glue them together so that it will NEVER AGAIN FALL APART!!!

So I stand in front of the fridge..I grab a bowl of ice cream. I always seem to think that I have to have ice cream AFTER I eat a meal..Why is that??? Because I have a sweet tooth? I do have that!
The last 2 days have been the worst days of emotional eating that I have had in the last 35 weeks!!!! Yesterday I ate ice cream 3 TIMES!! Right now I am craving it as I write. I ate so much more then my body wanted me to that I was SICK last night! I cannot say that I binged..Because I have NEVER been a binge eater..But did I eat when I was NOT hungry that I did do..I ate out of being upset,sad,angry,depressed,frightened and tired!

So you would think after 7 months I would have this under control? So what does it take? Clearly time is not the answer.
Starting tomorrow I am back to counting calories. I am back to writing down everything that I eat. Tracking everything that I eat. Sugar is clearly my enemy. I crave sugar. This I do know. When I stand in the kitchen I am not craving eggs or cheese...I am craving sugar..Anything sweet! I don't know if I can cut sugar from my diet and not go into a complete melt down! Maybe this is what I need to do to shock my system?

Open to suggestions!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Some meals..PAST

These are some pictures that never got posted. I thought I would post them before I start posting my weekly meals. You will notice we usually eat in front of the TV. We Always have. The kitchen table is Jacks art table.....( ;

Strawberries Banana Orange

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Ladies.... I need your advice!!

I went to my DOC Thursday!

I stepped on the scale at 180.2..UGH That was NOT nice to see....
The reason being it was at 4PM...Plus it was in the middle of TOM..
Still I knew what my true weight was!
This morning I am still up by 2 pounds! Putting me at 177.
As long as I stay away from that 180 I am happy for now!

I am actually thinking of NOT weighing on Monday..WHY you may ask? WELL because I can do that..
But the real reason..I want to give my body a week to adjust from from TOM and get back to what I know my TRUE weight really is..This whole weight thing can be a real mind F***K and to avoid being depressed for a week I may just skip it!...I may weigh on Tuesday..Just not on Monday.But since MONDAY is my OFFICIAL weigh day by weighing on Tuesday or Wednesday I won't feel so pressured or stressed about the weight.

I am still happy with the way my month is going!..
I know that I need to get on my treadmill..I am dealing with some Knee issues and that is NOT an excuse. I wish it was! This is pain that happens when I am just sitting there. So I am thinking that I may need to go see a doc for this.
I wake up in agony!
I have been doing free weights with 3LB weights and working my upper body just not as much as I should. So I am going to work on increasing that! Same goes with my lower body. I have started using ankle weights.( Knee pain was before I started using weights)
I have not noticed any increase in fatigue with using weights which is a good thing. So I will continue with this.

The treadmill is what is so hard on me and is also so hard to get going..The thing now sits in my living room thanks to my amazing husband for moving it in there for me. That was no easy task. He had to take it apart and put it back together.So I look at this thing all the time. Sometimes I think that if it was not a TREAD climber maybe I would be more likely to get on it..But every time I get on it..I am going for a hike!!!You get a better workout in half the time..But when you have fatigue like I do EVERYDAY and most days just getting in the shower is a pain in the ass! Well...Getting on the treadmill is not on the top of my list.
I have planned to do it when I first get up. That has not worked because I always have to eat when I first get up. If I don't I am nauseated. Then I end up on the computer..Then it just gets away from me.
Another reason is going to sound stupid to some and some will understand.
I have explained my fatigue and what it takes to just take a shower. Well have you noticed how much hair I have?? When you work out you sweat!! I can't work out and NOT take a shower! So I would have to not only get on the treadmill I would have to then shower after. PLUS WASH MY HAIR..Not only shower every day..But wash my hair EVERY DAY!! When right now I wash my hair every 3 days.
So please...If anyone has any advice on this I am listening....because I could really use it!
I know this may sound stupid to some.I get that. But when you have fatigue from MS like I do and I already have issues with getting on the treadmill. Now I am suppose to shower after and wash my hair!!!
I have to say this is probably the main issue..But it has to do with FATIGUE..Not the shower..If that makes sense..The fatigue causes the shower issues! I use to LOVE my showers..I use to shower twice a day. I have tried buying great products so that I will enjoy my showers more. I recently bought a $12 Alba Lavender shower soap..LOVE IT!! So that has helped a bit! Cutting my hair...WONT HAPPEN..(  :..Maybe one day!

I feel I am still on track to 10 pound in the month of April!
I just need to get on that Treadmill and use my weights EVERYDAY like I said I would!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

My meals in pictures..( : edited

I tried out a new Comment form that did not go over well for ME...So you will now be able to comment and SEE your comments on the post! On post AFTER this one!

Starting next week I am going to start documenting everything that I eat. I mean EVERYTHING!! I will take a picture of everything that I put into my mouth before I do so. This will be an easy task..I will keep a camera in the kitchen and when I go to grab something to eat I will set it down take a picture and at the end of the week I will post every picture. This way you all get an idea of what my diet consist of. The good and the bad. Yes there is bad in there too.. Believe it or not you can loose weight eating the bad.. It is called life!
I already have some pictures that I have taken over time that never made it into the blog. So I plan to post all of those come next Monday.... I think. Then starting every Tuesday after that is when I will post my weekly meals. This is the plan so far. The day may change. Since Monday is my weigh day I figured Tuesday would be a good day. But Monday could work as well.. I guess I will figure it out as I go along. I think this will also help keep me accountable and also help to show me what needs improvement in my diet. I already know that I need to up my vegetable intake. I have been slacking there only because we have been slaking on making dinner and have ordered Taco Bell a few times..The healthy version. Or we will make Mexican food at home and you just don’t get many vegetables from Mexican food..The other one has been Whole wheat pasta, Ground Turkey and sauce, Ricotta layered in ramekins..My husband’s loves them but again not getting in my vegetables.. Call it laziness!! So I have some Changes that I need to make so that I can be more healthy as I am dropping the pounds..I don’t want to be skinny and unhealthy!
So look forward to lots of pictures once a week!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Have you ever done a post that just disappears?? WELLL..I typed one out for an hour and it did just that!!
What happened to auto save??

So there will be no way I will remember exactly what I typed nor do I want to..UGH!!
So this will be the short of it!

35 POUNDS That is my total weight loss since I started on this journey..OK I hate the word JOURNEY..
I just do..I need to come up with my OWN word for my weight loss "journey"
I started back in summer 2010 at 210 POUNDS!! HOLLY COW!!! This was an all time high!
I have never seen anything higher on the scale. So if I have weighed more then that I have not seen it.
When I decided to do my blog in September I weighed 203 Pounds..So I had already lost a few pounds.
So in TOTAL it is 35 POUNDS..Just BLOWS me AWAY that I have lost that much weight!

Sometimes I think back to what we use to eat and think OK maybe I did not eat all that different?
Then I REALLY start to think about it...
Fast Food..McDonald's French Fries and Chicken Nuggets all the time
BIG bags of Starburst in 2-3 days
I would Bake Cheesecakes, Key Lime Pies, and Cookies and we ate them all
Always had Pastries in the house
Dinner was a 5 course meal, Meat,Packaged Potatoes,Corn,Salad W/dressing,croutons,cheese, and then we had bread usually the kind in the tube that you bake in the oven because I shopped with coupons so I always got them on sale for $.25..Then we would top then with butter and Jelly
We would order out Pizza and every Friday night we watched Ghost Whisper and got Panda Express.I do mean EVERY FRIDAY..
I would munch from the time Jack went to bed till the time I did 8 hours later..This out of boredom.
We went through GALLONS of regular ice cream..

I am still to this day battling my emotional eating..But it is 90% better.. I never would have thought that I would even be where I am at right now..After dinner I will have a bowl of no sugar added ice cream. Then I don't eat for the rest of the night.. Do ALL of my nights go that way?? NO..It is a work in progress..But I have gone from eating 8 hours straight to NOT..That is a BIG deal!!! I can now say to myself.."you are not hungry" "If you don't want that apple then you are not hungry" If I am going to choose to eat chocolate or ice cream or something fattening over something healthy then I know that I am doing it for emotional reasons. But if I go to the fridge and try and find something healthy then I know that I am actually hungry..It does not always work and I sometimes go for the sugary food like when TOM is around and my emotions are all over the place LIKE RIGHT NOW.. I am SAD, DEPRESSED, and feel like the world sucks at this very moment..So I am trying to keep my food decisions in check today.
Jack made dinner tonight which consisted of Salmon,Finger Potatoes, and Edamame...For breakfast I had a Greek Yogurt and some OJ..That is all I have had today because I am once again on a wacky sleep schedule and was not up till 5PM..So Dinner was actually lunch.Right now I am craving ice cream..So soon I will probably have some of that..But I seem to have my emotional eating in check tonight.

On Thursday I have a doctors appointment..I use to go every month for the last 6 years. Then we went to every 2 months for the last years. It has been nice to go in with GOOD news instead of always BAD..I get to tell him what my weight loss was since the last time I seen him! It usually ends up being around 10 pounds..I think it will be about 8 this time.

Monday, April 11, 2011


♥BRAIN♥ If you treat it right and feed it the right foods..It is amazing what it is capable of! Even healing itself!

So my predictions were RIGHT!!!
175 POUNDS...A loss of 1.5 POUNDS!!  AMAZING!!! I am truly Grateful!

Last night I had said that I was thinking that maybe I was going to start my period..That TOM was on it's way because it seemed as though it had been a while and the fact out of no where I am all of a sudden gaining back what I had lost one pound at a time.Just as I had lost it..Well I woke up early this morning about to pee my pants! Then later on the same thing when I finally did decided to get up for the day. I was not sure what the scale was going to say because by now I had figured out that TOM had started!! Yeah for me!
So I was happy to see what I did..I actually had to do a double take..Hahaha..I mean after just yesterday it reading 179.5.. I was FREAKING OUT!!! That I was going to see that 180 AGAIN and I DID NOT want that!!! The farther away I get from it the better!

On Saturday night we had gone to a Mexican restaurant called Abuelos..We have been before and it was a DISASTER.. So much so that the manger sent us $40 in gift cards. So we had a FREE night out coming to us for about a month or two..So we decided to use it on Saturday..I have never ordered Fajitas at a restaurant or EVER and they were AMAZING..So now we will go back.They seemed pretty healthy if you don't eat the sour cream or cheese.
We don't get out as much as we would like. Me with my MS.. You all have read what it takes for me to leave the house these days..Then there is my husband who has debilitating back and leg pain..Sunday we were SUPPOSE to have gone to my mom's Birthday party..I had to get up by 7AM on a SUNDAY to be there by 2PM..I succeeded..All I had left to do was put on my clothes..But my husband was NOT doing well..So I went through all of that for NADA...That's OK though..I slept really good that night! But missed my mom's birthday..) : We will just take her out to dinner.
So my goal to lose 10 pounds in one month is still going as planned..
The treadmill not so much..I need to work on that..
The free weights I am doing a few times a week and have gained 1/2in in my right arm! I measure at the roundest point.


Sunday, April 10, 2011

Could Not Last Forever!! I WISH!!!!

I think I have let myself get comfortable this week!
This has happened before.. I start to see HUGE losses..Pound after pound..Well not like this crazy nonsense..But losing weight..Then I get comfortable because I think in the back of my mind that it will just keep happening..That the pounds will just keep dropping off..

This week has been completely WEIRD..Every time I would step on the scale I would be down another pound!! I mean I am grateful..My clothes are all HUGE!! Shorts that fit just weeks ago are now baggy,Most of my jeans no longer fit..90% of my shirts are now TENTS..I have lost another inch in my thighs since the last time I did measurements. Just weeks ago!!! BLOWS ME AWAY!!! So if this is happening for no apparent reason why would it stop?? Well it has and it has inched up..Not by much and I won't know the final number till tomorrow..I could be a pound down,over or right where I was last week.
I also know TOM should be here. It seems like it has been a while.So it may be that I am adding a bit of water weight..Tomorrow will tell the tale!

I have a lot of clothes now that are too big and we are getting ready to have a garage sell..I told Jack that I really don't want to part with them because then when I lose all my weight I won't have the fun of trying all those clothes back on. He agreed it was not worth selling at a garage sell and to hold onto them. I was also thinking that most of then are expensive,TORID,Lane Bryant Clothing..Most New or close to it..So Maybe I will have some giveaways when I reach goal?? Would that be a good idea? I have TORID jeans,tops,shorts and LaneBryant Jeans..Sorry not a big fan of THEIR clothing..It just fits we wrong..I am kinda petite..But over weight. If that makes sense and their clothes are always way to long and just don't fit right.

I am going to have lots of shopping to do.. When I put on an old pair of jeans..It is AMAZING how my body has changed!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

I just can't believe it!!!!

I stepped on the scale again this morning and can you believe I am down ANOTHER POUND!!!! 175.5 I don't weigh till Monday..So it could be even more by then!
I just DO NOT want to jinx anything..I don't believe in any of that..But you know what I mean!
It took me so long to get out of the 80's 13 WEEKS to be exact!!
So what is different for the 70's..My hubby Jack has said maybe my metabolism has changed? I know something has changed because I feel different.. I have a TON more energy..
For the first time in YEARS I have more energy then I have EVER had..I mean don't get me wrong I am NOT miraculously healed! I wish to god I was! But for the last I would say month or a little more my fatigue has been so much better!
For the last year I have had the worst fatigue..We moved in to our current house a year ago and I feel as if we moved in and I sat down on the sofa and never moved and I am being dead serious!!!
The last month I have had very weird things that have been happening..I had that very odd bout with insomnia to where I could not sleep for days..I was pacing the house and cleaning like a manic and from then on I had it here and there but the days in between I actually felt semi-normal..Like I could exercise,clean my house,take a shower,cook..Just do things that everyone else does and not want to keel over after..

The only person that actually knows my life and how badly I deal with fatigue and MS symptoms is my husband..If we have an outing I have to plan ahead for those..It is a process..It is a sort of behind the scenes if you will..No one can just call and say come over and have dinner and I jump in the shower and be right over..My life does not work that way..For days leading up to an event,outing,dinner, family function etc I have to do NOTHING..and I do mean NOTHING!!!!!!! SLEEP...Two days before I take a shower and wash my hair. I cant do that the day before because that would be too much. So I do that TWO days before..Then the day before I take a shower and my hair does not have to be done. So the energy was saved there. Come the day of said event I do NOTHING until a few hours before we have to leave and then I will put on my makeup..Remember hair was done a few days ago..I then rest for another hour after the makeup is done and then I get dressed..I then hopefully have an hour to get done whatever I have to do..Gather my belonging,purse,jacket,shoes,go to the bathroom,primp..Anything I am taking with me..WE ARE ALWAYS LATE!!!!!

So to have this new found ENERGY is absolutely AMAZING!!! How long it will last?? I have no idea..I am just loving every minute of it! It does not last all day..It comes in spurts..Like right now. I have been on the sofa since I got up..So today is an ehhh day.. Yesterday was a good day..I am hoping for a good day tomorrow..We are having a walk through in our house.. So I would like to tidy up a bit!

So is it possible that my new energy is the reason for my sudden weight loss???
No matter what the reasons may be I am so very grateful and I just hope it keeps moving downward!
I have also wondered still if this is from the REALLY RAW HONEY..According to their website others have had similar side effects..So maybe the energy and even the fact that I am not having my nightly allergies is from the honey..?
Just when I am about to get the EAT CLEAN book and really start following the exact program and not just what I read on the Internet and the OXYGEN mag..I mean what do I do?? Do I continue with the honey? I mean what else could it be? There is nothing else that I have changed!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Weigh In...April Goals

I have not really been doing anything different but boy am I grateful!!!

Today's weigh in....176.5 It also said 176 but I will just go with the first one..
I have another scale and it too said BOTH so who the heck knows!!!!
I am happy regardless..That is another 2.5 Pounds lost this week!!!!

Thanks for all the comments on my progress photos..It really means a lot to me..
The more I look the more changes that I see..The one change that I am really happy about is that I don't have that bra fat..! I am wearing the same bra in both pictures..I also noticed that my butt changed quite a bit...Hahah..Plus the shorts got quite bigger. Many changes that I notice as Iook at the pictures..One of the things that I had noticed on my own long ago was that my stomach had shrunk up top under my breast that is also apparent in the photos..Plus my boobs really deflated..I was shocked about that when I did my measurements!! But wow you can really see that in my pictures!!!
So I will probably wait another 2-3 months and then I will take more pictures..Doing it every month for me just is not enough..I don't want to sit and have to squint hoping to see change..yah know!


Lose 10 Pounds...I can do this!!!!
Treadmill 20 minutes a day 3 days a week..I have a tread climber at 10-20%.It's a workout!
Upper Body with weights/Lower Body. Alternating by day
Continue to eat clean...BUY THE BOOK!!!!

These goals are ones that I can stick too..In the past I make goals that are so far out of my reach or send my MS in to a flare..So I am going with this! If I can handle more I will do more!
Last night I did arms with 3LB weights and I felt great just because I did it! I did 3 sets of 15 and trust me I felt it..I almost bought the 5Lb..I have 5LB..I have every pound..But I wanted the pretty pink weights..Haha..So I bought pretty pink 3Lb weights and trust me they are enough for me right now..

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Progress Pictures !!

I had originally planned to do these pictures every month but then I decided that a months time would not show very much..So I actually forgot!!!!

Last night I took these pictures..
For some reason I really was not expecting much of a change I don't know why!
But WoW was I ever wrong!
I notice it the most in my Stomach,Bust,Butt!
The first set was taken December 17,2010..The second set was taken April 2,2011

BEFORE  188                                                                          AFTER   176