How do you know when standing in front of the fridge looking for something to eat has gone from just being hungry to full blown emotional eating and how do you stop it before it gets out of control??
I seem to have gone from doing great to being full blown sick from eating myself into a coma!
I thought I knew all the signs to look for!! I just told them to you and myself just the other day! " If you look for junk food you are NOT hungry! If you want an actual meal then you are hungry" So then what went wrong?" I'll tell you what went wrong....LIFE!!!
The problem is I did not see it coming and did not expect it and I should have. I was not prepared to deal with it. I am still not prepared to deal with it.
We are dealing with some financial issues that are beyond our control. As I have told you all before Jack usually keeps this all to himself but sometimes he has no choice but to tell me. Because of the fact I don't EVER deal with financial responsibilities in our household when I do have to every now and then it causes me MAJOR stress because I am NOT use to it.. I am sure you can understand that. This is just the way things have been for us over the years. When I met my husband he had been on his own for years. So he just continued to pay the bills.
I in general don't handle stress well..I am working on it! It is part of the new me. It will not happen over night. Just like losing weight will not happen over night.
This is sort of like a puzzle. Without all the pieces the puzzle will NEVER be completed.
I hold all the puzzle pieces. I am working on one puzzle one piece at a time. Each piece is different..takes on a different problem, issue and solution. When I am done and all the puzzle pieces fit together I will glue them together so that it will NEVER AGAIN FALL APART!!!
So I stand in front of the fridge..I grab a bowl of ice cream. I always seem to think that I have to have ice cream AFTER I eat a meal..Why is that??? Because I have a sweet tooth? I do have that!
The last 2 days have been the worst days of emotional eating that I have had in the last 35 weeks!!!! Yesterday I ate ice cream 3 TIMES!! Right now I am craving it as I write. I ate so much more then my body wanted me to that I was SICK last night! I cannot say that I binged..Because I have NEVER been a binge eater..But did I eat when I was NOT hungry that I did do..I ate out of being upset,sad,angry,depressed,frightened and tired!
So you would think after 7 months I would have this under control? So what does it take? Clearly time is not the answer.
Starting tomorrow I am back to counting calories. I am back to writing down everything that I eat. Tracking everything that I eat. Sugar is clearly my enemy. I crave sugar. This I do know. When I stand in the kitchen I am not craving eggs or cheese...I am craving sugar..Anything sweet! I don't know if I can cut sugar from my diet and not go into a complete melt down! Maybe this is what I need to do to shock my system?
Open to suggestions!
I still struggle with an occasional binge eating session when I'm vulnerable. I don't have any answers to permanently fix it but I normally just forgive myself and move on .. get right on plan again.
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm vulnerable, I am especially careful NOT to have trigger foods around the house.
I hope the stresses in your life lighten up!
I write...sometimes just a few paragraphs sometimes over 5,000 words...I write until I get it out, maybe do some crying, take a nap and write some more. Sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it dosent and I may or may not take time to even worry about sentence structure or punctuation or spelling. I am also really trying to work on intuitive eating. I just read a book called "When Food Is Love" by Geneen Roth that has really helped me be able to identify if i am truly hungry or if something else is going on. If its something else, what is it and what are those feelings. So I highly recommend that book as well. Good luck we all have good days and bad days
ReplyDeleteI love the book that the previous poster mentioned. Also, it looks to me as if you are feeling out of control (not just of your eating, but of your life- finances). What are some healthy ways you can gain some of that control back? How would you feel being a financial partner in your marriage?
ReplyDeleteWhen this stuff happens to me, I track everything, even if it's been a bad day. Kudos to you fro coming here and sharing.
What a neat post! Looking forward for more post from you. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteLife happens. It hits you hard when you are down, and it hopes to knock you out. BUT it didn't, you know you ate too much ice cream, so just start fresh. A new day. Let the rest roll off your back... whats done is done... don't dwell on it. You know what to do, you have made it this far havent you? so just stick with it!
ReplyDeleteAgain I dont have the tools to share...when I was told NO sugar, I just stopped and that was that for me. No craving as I would remember what sugar was doing to me and saw sugar as poison ~ I feel so much better without sugar, my weight is down, I have lots of energy, my tummy is flat, why would I want sugar with those results.
ReplyDeleteLike take aways, aspartame filled foods...I just tell myself...NO and then I don't no matter how good it looks....
Sorry not very good friend at helping.
As I got older and with MS my mind is very strong as I want to be the healthiest I can be to fight this horrible *thing* hanging over my head.
Sending love