Now I kinda forgot to do this!
Last night was kinda a lazy do nothing go to bed early,lay in bed, read fitness kinda night!
There is only one thing I did do and here it is.. By the way..the tatoo is fake..We have a bunch of them
|YOU ALL SEE WAY TOO MUCH OF MY FEET!!!!!|
I have been so bad the last couple of days of tracking what I am eating. I am doing OK on what I am eating. I thing I am just rebelling..First I go through this losing steam and then what was I thinking with Alli..??
I just have a lot on my mind right now!
I woke up this morning and was crying before I even got out of bed.
MS takes so much out of me. Some days I just need a really good cry and today was one of those days.
Call it what you want. Feeling sorry for myself. Whatever you want. For me it is being fed up!
Being sick and fing tired of not being able to live my life like everyone else.
I am sure you all wake up on a Saturday morning and plan your day? Am I right?
I wake up on a Saturday morning and lay on the sofa for 4 hours before I can even move again and usually have to take another nap and then maybe I can make plans to do something.
So on Friday nights me and Jack will make "Saturday plans" then I wake up feeling like shit as always and I FING hate it!!!! I don't know why I am so surprised it happens everyday..Wishful thinking I guess!
I really love my Neurologist and the NP I am seeing when I go. She is doing what she can to try and help me the best she can to see that I have the best life possible. Living with an illness such as MS is really hard and especially hard since to everyone around you, you seem fine because they can't see it. Everything is going on inside of your body.
It's a scary disease to have..I have been having a lot of vision issues that just keep getting worse. I have gotten to the point where when I read at night I am closing my right eye because my vision is so double. My neurologist tells me that with the new MRI I am having it will show how much swelling there is that will determine why I am having that.
I have started to receive the things that I need for my daily shots. They send you something so that you can stick the needle inside of it and then you push a button and it gives the shot for you. I hate that thing and never used it before. It shoots it really fast..But anyways. I just don't get why they ship everything separately!
I never should have went off of my shots..The reason why I did was because my shots are so freaking painful. Not the actual shot but afterwards. They burn so bad for HOURS!!! I dread the shot!!! When I went and seen my nuro a few months back we had talked about me going back on them and he explained to me that if I were to develop a new symptom I cant go back. But if I am on the shots they can hopefully prevent those new symptoms. Well in those few months..I developed a new symptom and I am very upset about it..One of my many reasons for being upset this morning! I angry and pissed off at myself and hate having this disease. But it is what it is and there is nothing I can do about it!
My hope is that some day it lightens up on me a bit..Gives me a breather every now and then.
I hope that by losing weight it improves my health and that improves my MS.
I am also hoping that by eating a clean diet no processed food that it also helps.
I think that I can be more strict with this and I have a lot more to learn. So if anyone has any information for me I would love to know about it..A book,website, or store..?
I have been eating healthy now for about 6 months and so far I am not noticing a difference in the way that I feel. I need to pick up some books on clean eating.
Today me and Jack are going to whole food. I am going to look for PB2 and coconut oil..If there is anything that I should look for please let me know..
My hope is 6 months from now I can look back and feel like a different person..If any of you knew where I am at right now...You would know I have I have a very long road ahead of me.