|Even Kitty ate too much!|
Now I know that it is all in my head!
I have busted my ASS for 17 weeks to lose 20 pounds and I did not gain that all back in a matter of days.
But did I gain back a pound or two???
Lets see...I weighed last Wednesday and had gained .5 pounds which is pretty much nothing considering it was TOM...I usually gain a few pounds and then the following week I lose what I had gained and another pound or so..
On new years eve I ate some munchies but not many and only had an Orange for breakfast. I also had Mexican casserole and cheesecake ice cream..This is food that I have not eaten in 17 weeks. So my stomach was KILLING me..A clear sign that what I was eating was bad for me..
In the past I have had a dinner out with Jack that I am sad to report was probably more calories then what I had on New Years eve. This was in the beginning of the 17 weeks. Not that it is any better. But my point being that back then I did not gain any weight. So why am I so worried about gaining now??
Well....for one..I feel like I have gained!
Maybe back when I was 20 pounds heavier gaining 1 pound was less noticeable and I lost it before I seen it on the scale??
When you have worked as hard as I have at losing weight the last thing you want to see is the number go up on the scale. There are some weeks that I have worked to lose 1 pound. So if I stepped on the scale and gained 2 pounds those 2 weeks or whatever it took to lose those 2 pounds is down the tubes!! That really sucks..It is the one thing that keeps me going and that I try and avoid.
When I think of eating something unhealthy I think....You busted your ass on the treadmill yesterday for nothing if you eat this..It usually keeps me from eating it. Then there are times I think..Well I have done really good..SO I DESERVE IT!!! I deserve NOTHING!!!!!!!! I have not proved to myself that I can handle that piece of cheesecake. So what business do I have in eating it? I am still fat and I got fat by eating crap like cheesecake. I chose cream cheese and sugar over health and happiness! Think of how stupid that sounds.
When I got home on New Years eve my body craved junk which happens when you eat junk.
I ate one of the smores I made and that told me all I needed to know.They really are not that bad calorie wise which is why I made them. I told Jack to put them above the fridge (I think he has forget about them). I now recognise the signs.
Ever since that night I have eaten REALLY healthy and have been back on my program.
I love the holidays but I am glad to feel back in control of what I am going to be eating and what my choices will be.
Wednesday the scale will tell me everything that I need to know. Did I have enough calories saved up. Did I burn enough?? We will see.. But even if I do gain. It is business as usual.
Nothing is changing but maybe my calories for the day. Now that Jack will be going back to work it will be easier for me to do my low to high calories and when I say HIGH..I mean 1200