I sat here for a few minutes not knowing how to start this post..
Just like I have not known how to start most of my days for the last few months.
I have been lost~!

Somewhere along the line I slowly fell off course. I never completely said I am done..
I never quite..I never threw in the towel..
But we all know that point where we look back and say where did we go wrong.
Well I am at that point.
I have gained no weight..I have not stopped eating healthy. But I HAVE had a few slip ups..I have had many days of I just don't care.
I miss that fire..That intense WANT and knowing that I can do anything that I set my mind to. That I can for once in my life see finish line..That had all gone away.

I have all the knowledge to get to where I need to be..
I have done all the research..I have the plan the works for ME!
Then life happened..That may sound like an excuse..but when you are dealing with extreme pain,financial issues etc and it is all thrown at you at once. The last thing I wanted to think about was food or my program.I have since realized that if this is ever going to work I have learn to deal with my emotions and still stick with my program. The worst thing for me is to be physically stressed out with my MS.. Then to be making it worse with eating unhealthy as well..
During this time there were days where I said I just don't care and we ate out at Mexican restaurants and ate pizza or Taco Bell..I have to be honest here in saying..I just don't think that I can ever say that I will NEVER EVER again go to out favorite Mexican food or eat pizza..But I did all of this in one month.

I am still dealing with dental issues..Not sure yet what is going on there.
Dental pain is hard to deal with!! So if you are putting it off. Take care of it now.

I did weigh on Monday and I was down to 174.5 and this morning it said 173.5 So the scale is moving again..I look forward to getting into the 160's.
I am back in the right mind frame..The package that I ordered should arrive today or tomorrow..YEAH
Then I will let you know what I ordered!

I also need to get on that treadmill.. I am so bad about the exercise..It is so hard on me..Worse with the heat now! It just makes me so sick.
But I am really feeling like I am back to where I was 3 months ago.
To be excited to the scale get moving again.Its a great thing!

Lazy weekend...Pizza included..Monday..Strict Clean eating!!!!

Last night was spent at home with the hubby..Since I has slept all day I had no dinner plans and I gave in!!!
He went to the store and got a pizza!!! UGH Then we watched a movie called Never let me go
This happens MAYBE once every few months. It is NOT a good thing.(eating pizza) But yes it did happen.
It is called being lazy. I could have taken the time to defrost some chicken in the microwave and then come up with something. But I did not do that. I am not perfect and don't plan to be. But I have come a long way. I also recognise a pattern..I can't let these days build up. It usually happens right after I get paid. More money to eat out!

Either today or tomorrow I will be going to the grocery store..
I am going to try and get back into using coupons..I use to be so good at using coupons.Anyone watching extreme couponing on TLC?? Well that was me just 2 years ago.. Then when we moved I slowly tapered off..Then I started eating healthy and it got even worse. But there are coupons for toiletries. I use to have an entire pantry that was a stock pile and I would like to get back to that. It will take me some time to build my stock of coupons again before I can even start saving.
If you have never REALLY used coupons before you can save so much it is like having a job. So I am going to get back into it as much as I can..If you want to start small..Right now if you go onto fresh and easy website you can print a $6 0ff $30 and grocery stores that takes competitive coupons will take it..If you live in Arizona you can use it at Frys or Albertsons.. Just print the coupon.. You can actually print a few and if you order is more then $30 say...$130 You can split you transaction into multiple transactions and use multiple $6 off $30..So there is one way for you to go shopping tomorrow and save some money.

This is going to be a lazy weekend..Movies and hanging at home with the hubby!
We got some good news this week..So I feel like I can finally breath a little...
I am not so stressed out as I was for the last month!!!! When I get stressed about a certain thing it is ALL I think about.. It consumes my every thought..Makes me actually SICK!!! So I am glad that has passed..
Sure everyone has stress but I have explained it here before..My body handles stress differently.
So every time the thought would come in to my mind..I would start to have pins and needles pop up in my skin..if it was visible. That is exactly what you would see..A bunch of little tiny needles rise to the surface of my skin every time that I get stressed or upset.. Just like when Pinocchio would lie and his nose would grow.Well I grow needles when I get stressed or upset..
So YES.. I am very happy NOT to have to think about what I was thinking about day and night anymore.

Monday starts a very strict detailed CLEAN EATING program!!!
Details to follow..(  :

Quick Update

This will be a quick post tonight..
I am feeling a little better..I went and seen the doc yesterday. A very long drive to be told everything looks fine.
I still slept most of the day today on an ice pack. Dental pain is hard to deal with but I am getting there.

On our way home from the dentist we stopped and ate at Chevys mexican food.While there I told Jack I don't know if I will ever be able to order CLEAN in a restaurant..I did order a salad..It came with bacon and I got that on the side..But it had blue cheese and this diet you really should not eat cheese and lets face it the dressing was a no go either..But I could have made a worse choice at that restaurant for sure!

I have ordered a couple of things in the mail that I am really excited about..It is not often that I spend money on myself..I just don't!! You should have seen my yesterday while at biglots trying to decide on whether or not to buy a cooler. I just have a really hard time spending money on myself. If it is for the house or food. Sure fine no problem.. But if it is for ME..I have a real problem with that!! Now that I think about it thought..What I bought is sort of for the home. I will get it next week. Then I will let you know what I ordered.

It's going to be a long night..

Weigh in and continued dental issues!

I have not gone anywhere..I am still here.
I am REALLY REALLY struggling with my dental issues!!
I did go and have my Wisdom teeth removed as planned.
All went as planned. I chose to do it as a local. I figured that I could handle it.
Everything went fine..
Afterward I was so relived to have those things out! There was TWO..One on top and one on the bottom. Both on the same side of my mouth. The bottom one is the one that was causing all the pain and is also the one that was impacted. It came out in a couple of pieces.
After he was done and we left I was numb for like 8 hours. It was the best feeling EVER!!! I had been in pain for so long!!!! Since then....I have been in agony!!! AGAIN!!!!
Part of it I am sure is just natural healing..But I should be getting better day by day and I am not.
Tomorrow is my one week follow up. So I will get to find out what is going on. I probably should have called by now. But I have just been on ice and taken lots of Advil. The top has never hurt. It is still the bottom..So who knows!! I am just so done with this!!!

During this process I had to do many salt water rinses..As we know salt is not good for weigh loss.
At one point I got in the scale and it read 180..I could not believe it..I NEVER wanted to see that number EVER again on the scale!! I am still having to do salt water rinses but not as often.

Monday was weigh day..175.5...So I am right around where I was..
I am still eating healthy and following the EAT CLEAN plan..Right now because of my dental issues I am not eating much of anything..Yogurt and soft fruit..Anything that will not hurt to chew.

I am just trying to get threw this right now..Having dental pain is hard to deal with day after day!!!

Tomorrow is the day! Oral Surgery..Blah..Can't WAIT.So I can get Back to life!

*Some are interested in my dentist. For privacy reasons if you could shoot me an email
I can then give you all the details. They are great! Super friendly office and the doctors are great as well. No matter who you get. I have seen Two so far. Then I was reffered to an Oral surgen and he is just as great! So just shoot me an email and I wil give you all the details!*

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Tomorrow is the day!!
I am sooooo not looking forward to it!

You know what else sucks..The TWO pounds I have gained from doing salt water rinses!!!
Oh well..This will soon pass and I will be back on the track to getting healthy and losing the last 35-40 pounds that I need to lose.
This is just a bump in the road!

My appointment is early in the morning.
I am really torn on what to do about something.

I have a very high tolerance to medication. I have been taking pain medication for 7 plus years.
So when it comes to having MRI's, Colonoscopy etc..They have tried in the past to put me to sleep with just general anesthesia..Just with an IV and something like Demerol. This in the past has NEVER worked. I would be WIDE awake and they would be looking at me like I was a crazy person from another dimension and wondering how in the heck I was laying on table STILL talking to them. The doc asking the nurse beside him YOU DID give her the FULL DOSAGE RIGHT???? It is always the same thing. Plus I always tell them this before they try.
They have started to listen to me. My last MRI I was under fully with the Tub and everything.
I wish this was not the case. But I also wish I did not have MS..But I wish a lot of things..
When I had my consultation with the oral surgeon we decided just to go with a local. He said he could get them out in 20 minutes.
Because of our financial situation I had made the decision that I want to just do it that way..Jack then called back and found out that with our insurance it is $60 more to have IV sedation on top of the local.
I kind of feel like it will be throwing that money away. I mean maybe my body will react different to the meds this time. I may just lie there awake as always. I have no idea..He told me I could take my own ativan. So I have many choices here. It is one that will be made last minute because I am going to ask to talk to him in the morning.

I am really glad these last two suckers are finally coming out!!! But I am also going to be in some extreme pain for a while till it heals..

I am just ready for a break! If it is not one thing it is another..
I can't handle any more pain. I keep thinking that if I get healthier,thinner and stronger..That maybe my body will fight back a bit. Well so far I have not been able to get much healthier or thinner because I am always in pain and always dealing with some kind of aliment..SICK OF IT!!! FED UP!!

I am going to keep going. I have no other choice..Another bump in the road to reach my success.
As soon as I can get back to it I will and I mean RIGHT as soon as I feel up too it..I will be do doing meal planning from bed! Plus RE-READING The Clean Eating Diet!

I will let you all know how tomorrow goes...Until then..Sweet dream ♥

Getting back to blogging and dealing with my teeth!

I feel as though I have abandoned my blog..) :
That is not the case!
I have DENTAL ISSUES!!! BIG ONES!

So the last thing I have been wanting to discuss is FOOD! Anything related to food and YES that includes my diet!
I am still eating healthy..To a point..I say this for a reason which I will get into.

I finished reading the Eat Clean Diet Book up to the point that I now know EXACTLY how to follow the program and I am not just winging it.
So every time I am out I pick up something that I need and as of lately I have not been getting out much. So even Jack gets me things on the way home..But then again..He has ALWAYSSSS done that!!! But I do have an awesome husband!

On the eat clean program for 99% of it you will have it in your pantry or in your fridge but there are a couple of food items that are out of the ordinary so you will need to go and look for them..I have never had Organic Apple Cider Vinegar..Sure I have had Apple Cider Vinegar. But not ORGANIC..There is a HUGE difference...Then there is Flax Seed.. What did I EVER do with out FLAX SEED???? I will NEVER again go another day without it!!! EVER!!!!..Some people make the mistake of buying it whole. Your body will not get any nutrients from whole Flax Seed. It will just pass right through you. So make sure you get ground. I prefer it lightly ground..Then I put it in my yogurt in the morning. You can also get it where it ground down to powder and then mix it into your soups and stews and such. But I REALLY love the taste...So I stick with the lightly ground. YUM!!
But I really had no huge adjustments that I had to make..
Well ONE....

How on earth do I eat 5-6 meals a day???
I just cannot figure this out!
My breakfast is my biggest meal of the day hands down.
I have even tried to cut it down. But I am hungry in the morning.
This is what I eat in the morning..
Fruit..1 Orange 4 Strawberries 1/2 banana
1 Yogurt 3tsp Flax Seed
Then either 1 cup of steel cut oatmeal or Ezekiel bread and Almond Butter.
It's probably about 350 calories give or take..
Sometimes I leave out the toast and oatmeal but later I always end up having it..
Regardless if i am going to have a large meal breakfast should be the one and I am not having anything bad!
BUT...I am not hungry the rest of the day..Not until Jack gets home and we have dinner. Then I will have a snack and bed. My day is something like that. Not always. But for the most part. Breakfast for sure..EVERYDAY is EXACTLY LIKE THAT!!!
So I bought a dry erase calendar in hopes that I can plan out my weeks and meals.
Not sure how well that will go.
I am open to any and all advice..

Now as to why I have been missing for a while..
About a week ago I started having Jaw pain. I was not sure if it was a tooth or what it was. I was just at the dentist back in November and had some work done on the left side of my mouth and had 1 wisdom tooth taken out by the dentist. Then I was suppose to go back in December and have my right side done and also go to another doc and have my other 2 wisdom surgically removed since they are impacted. Well come December with it being the holiday and the fact I did way too much I ended up having an MS(multiple sclerosis) flare. So I never made it and never rescheduled..I mean who LIKES going right?? So I was like...I'll get to it.
Well wouldn't you know...It got to me first!
It started out as just a tooth ache/Jaw pain
I figured it would be one of these things where the tooth hurts for a day or two and then goes away.
Nope that did not happen..Not even for a day!
If anything it just got worse.To the point I would just sit up in bed and try and sleep sitting up. The pressure from laying down is just too much!
So come last Friday..I was like I just can't deal with this another minute! Jack called the dentist on Saturday morning and they said if you can be here in an hour..I really love my dentist. So if you live in Arizona and you need a dentist.. They are in the Mesa area..But anyways..I went in on Saturday morning after no sleep..I had just laid down when Jack came in the bedroom and said dentist in an hour!So we get there do two x-rays..I am so excited thinking that I am about to be out of pain. The doc comes in looks in my mouth and tells me that I have a wisdom tooth pushing on the tooth in front of it!!! I knew right off which one he was referring to. I knew that I had one that was in sideways.Still under the gum.So this was NOT something that the dentist could take care of! So more waiting!!! I was in agony....
It was not until Today Tuesday that I was able to get in to see the oral surgeon to discuss taking out the 2 remaining wisdom teeth that I have left...I am STILL in extreme pain! I have lived on Advil and Orajel.The Orajel barely touches it. But it is all I got. Finally today I got some mouth rinse and was told to use salt water.
Thursday is the day..That is when I get these sucks out! I will still be in pain for a while till I heal.
Then once I do. I will be ready to get right back to things.

My weight had not changed..Though I have not done an official weigh in for months!! The last time I checked it was still at 178. Still at a gain of 3 pounds. But I am confident that as soon as I get passed this dental issue and really start doing the clean eating program the way that it is suppose to be done...I will drop those 3 pounds in the first week. So I am not worried about it!

For now..I am eating healthy,Drinking my water,Taking my meds and sleeping as often as possible!
The less I have to be awake..The less I have to deal with the amount of pain I in!.
YES IT IS THAT BAD!!

I am back!

I have not disappeared...
I am still here and still eating healthy.

I was just on a BLOG break if you will.
I need one of those every now and then.

I have been getting caught up on reading Tosca Renos Eat Clean Diet
I have since bought a few new products..
Almond Butter..YUM
Flax seed..Love it!!!
Ezekiel Bread..This is also really good I put Almond Butter on this bread and it is a meal. The bread is a complete protein made with no flour.

My weight loss has come to a hault. As a matter of fact I have GAINED 4 POUNDS.. But I am OK with it..Right now I am more focused on adjusting my diet. Things were all out of whack there for a while and I was not sure what program to follow or how many calories to eat. Sure the pounds were coming off the scale but I was not sure why..Plus I knew that it would not keep up and it didn't.I have not gone off of my healthy eating..There is no reason that I can pin point as to why I have gained 4 pounds..These pounds were here prior to Easter Holiday..It fluctuates between 3-4 pounds.
Just recently I stoped eating ICE CREAM all together. That was in the last week..So that also means I will be eating less honey.
I have also finished reading the Eat Clean PLAN.. Not the book. Just the plan.. So I know how it works and what I am to do now..So I will be adjusting my diet accordingly..When I say "DIET" I just mean what I will be eating for the day. This is NOT a DIET!!!
This will be the way that I eat for the rest of my life..I have been eating this way since last summer and for the most part it is the same just with a few tweaks..For example..I am going to switch to 6 small meals a day. I am use to 2 meals and snacks. I also can't rave enough about Almond Butter and Flax seed!!! But in future post I will get more in detail about MY program and the way I will do things.

So In no time these few pounds that I have gained over the last 2 weeks will fall off..I have no doubt about that!
I have already noticed a difference in the way my internal plumbing is working..(  ;

As far as how my brain is working??? I wish that I could find the MAGIC SEED FOR THAT!!!
This morning I asked Jack what he wanted for breakfast.. Toast Almond Butter and Yogurt with Fruit and he kept telling me that he did or did not want yogurt.Within two minutes I kid you not I could not remember and this happened 3 times. All two minutes apart. They call this cognitive issues when you have MS..It's a scary thing when it does happen..