I am struggling !!
I knew I may have a few of these days and I made it over a month with not even days but hours of
questioning myself on if I was capable of this?
Is this really my time? Three weeks ago had you asked me if I would make it this time. I without a doubt would tell you YES !! Today...I am not so sure about that !
At first I thought that my gain last week is what has thrown me off but now I am not even sure about that,.
All I have to go on is the fact that when I did have a loss it made me want to lose more the following week. Having this gain was such a let down. It's just a pattern of the past.
I have a few losses. Then I have a gain..Then I quit...
I am on that path now !
Today is worse then yesterday. It's not what I am eating..It's how much I am eating.
Even when I started weight watchers I had a hard time getting my points in for the day.
The last few days I have been eating all 3 meals and snacking. Granted the snacks are applesauce and fruit. But I know I am eating more then I should be and I am doing it anyways ! OK, so there have also been a few bowls of low fat ice cream and today a piece of toast with peanut butter and honey.
For anyone else these are just typical meals and snacks. A piece of toast and melon is not going to make the average person pack on the pounds. But for me...It won't help me lose the weight.
My body works different then most people. I have to really work at this. That's extra meal or snack is enough to make ME pack back on the pounds in no time !
I really started to think about this today..
This can't all be over a 1.5LB weight gain.
I feel different..I actually feel hungry..I have this self check I do with myself.
If I feel like I am hungry. I ask myself. "Am I so hungry that I am willing to eat a bowl of dry not even cooked broccoli"Now I like broccoli. But if this is emotional eating I would not make it my number one choice. So if my answer is yes then I get myself something healthy to eat. If the answer is no then I know I am feeling emotional about something. Even if it is as simple as boredom. Yes..Boredom is enough to make me want to eat.
So today I have been asking myself that question and the answer was and still is YES YES YES !!!
Lets see today I woke at 1:30PM it is now 7:12PM I have had Applesauce,Kashi Cereal (weighed) Low Fat Ice Cream, Homemade Hummus on a Whole Wheat Pita and a Piece of Whole Wheat Toast with Peanut Butter Honey and some Melon on the side. All of this in about 6 hours. Now I have not sat down and figured out the points but I know that I am well over where I typically should be.So I ask myself..Could I eat again. YES I could.
So there has to be more to this then emotional eating and more to this then being hungry.
So I started to do a little bit of googling when I came across a few articles about hormonal eating.
I am no longer in my 20's and I am noticing that for one it's harder to lose. I was wondering could hormones effect my hunger status.This is just one of the many articles on it.
This may be the cause it may not..But I now Know that I not only need to track my food and my activity but now I need to track my emotions and my hunger level. If come this time next month I am feeling the same way. Then I will know that it is time to seek a doctors advice.
One thing I do know today is that this will pass. I went 5 weeks feeling like I could do this for good. That this was my new way of eating to today feeling like it has beaten me again !! I hate that feeling.
Tomorrow is a new day..Even though I have had 2-3 really bad days it does not mean that it has to turn into weeks, months and years as it has in the past !