Mid - October Goals

I am halfway through October and have not really set any goals for myself. I am also not seeing and significant weight loss. So it is time set some goals.

First off..I would like to see some pounds move off of the scale. I know I said 1-2 pounds a week. But now that the water weight has for sure moved on. I want to see 3 pound weight loss. JUST ONCE.
I don't want to see another weight gain! EVER.Realistic? NO..But I can shoot for it right.

I need to attempt to get on the treadmill at least once a day and shoot for 1 mile.
Lower my carb intake
Eat less Fruit and eat more vegetables.
Drink 130 Ounces of water EVERY day.
Get moving! Even if it's just to clean my house.
Track what I am eating.
Blog every day.

Hopefully this will show more loss on the scale.

Confession

Now to confess....
I have done so good with my eating..I mean REALLY REALLY good..
Last night I just wanted to eat junk food. There was no getting around it.
Well I am sure there was. But I did not want to.

So after Jack worked 12 hours and went grocery shopping. He went and got us Panda Express.
I have yet to look up the nutritional info of what I ate. Which I plan to do.
But I have to tell yah. I enjoyed my dinner. That is really bad !
But if I am not completely honest then I will never lose this weight.

So YES last night I had Panda and enjoyed every yummy bite and was right back on the program after that meal.

That is a MAJOR difference. In the past I would make the choice to have Chinese or a piece of cheesecake then I would beat myself up about it so bad. I would convince myself that I will never lose the weight and quit ! Not this time. I am still in it. One bad meal does not need to lead to another year or years of bad meals.

FRUSTRATED !!!!!!

I started out this time around with a different mind set.
In the past I just wanted to lose the weight no matter what it took.
I would step on the scale hoping for 5 pounds only to see a 1 pound loss if that.
Then I would just give up. That's how I have stayed fat for 35 years!

This time around was different..I know that to keep it off I need to lose 1-2 pounds a week. But I will not complain if I lose more.
But it is not going as I had planned. This past week  lost 1.5lbs which is just what I had gained last week. So I am still at 8 Pounds and 6 weeks in.

I was just reading someones post about losing 10.5 pounds in just under 2 weeks ! WHAT???
I would love to be at 10 pounds and at only week 2. That is crazy! Now I know its water weight and it will even out Blah Blah Blah. But I know that I should be losing more then 8 pounds in 6 weeks !

Part of it may be my fault. I am not working out.
But when you have MS and suffer from severe fatigue it is not that easy.
Is that an excuse? I have asked myself that and NO it is not.
Most days I struggle to get out of bed. I have needed to clean my house for a month.
Last night Jack went grocery shopping after working a 12 hour day.
Having fatigue is not as most people would think. It is not just a matter of being tired.
It's more like a feeling of needing someone to drag you by your arm from room to room.
Everyone with MS has different symptoms and with a different severity. Just happens that I was hit hard with fatigue.
So most days I go from bed to sofa.
The summer is really hard on me and most with MS so I was hoping that as soon as it started to cool down I would feel a bit better. So far not so much. Every year I wait for Halloween. That is when I notice a difference.

I am one that needs everything in it's place. In the past when Jack wanted to move his Total Gym into the kitchen I was like "Heck NO"
Here in this house we have a GYM ROOM but it is in the back of the house. There s a gate in front of the door to keep the dogs out. So it is kinda out of sight outta mind. So I have been thinking of moving it to the living room. I cringe when I think of that! But what can it hurt. My thinking is that I can just jump on whenever I feel up to it. So I am hoping that will help. I am also using my body bar during commercials or while just watching TV. Better then nothing I guess.

So...I am still going strong. I have a few kinks to work out for sure. Plus I need to find a way to up the activity and the weight loss..I am working harder at this then I ever have and I am not seeing the results that I need.

Here we go again !

It's seems like it has been the longest week ever!
Tomorrow will be my 6th weigh in..I have NEVER on any program made it 6 weeks. EVER!
So I am quite proud of myself for that. You have to realize. I have been overweight to some extent my entire life and have started multiple diet plans and NEVER made it past week 4. So this is amazing
regardless of how much I have lost so far. I know I am healthier for it !

Looking back this has been a good week. I did not eat out once ! That is amazing!
I can't remember many weeks that we have not eaten out.
This week has been lots of soups for dinner. I had a few hungry days. Days where I just can't figure out why I was so hungry. I had about 3 of those days. But looking back on what I ate. I was OK..I pretty much fell within my allowable calorie intake.

I have a real sweet tooth and needed to come up with a go to dessert that was fast and easy and low in calories and I did just that. It's pretty much an apple cobbler baked in the oven but it has no butter.
I will be posting that a little bit later in the month.

So I had a good week ate as well as I think I could have.
Tomorrow is weigh day and as usual I am nervous..
I am always nervous come weigh day and I have had anywhere from a loss of 2.5lbs to a 1.5lb gain and there is really not much difference in what I am eating on those weeks.
So I can only hope that after a gain last week that I will have a loss this week.

Regardless of what the scale reads I am healthier for it..So I will keep going till I reach goal.

Weekends

The weekend is over !
Weekends are so hard for me. It's the time we spend with our spouses and families.
For me and Jack this is when we shop and yes go out to dinner!
When I started on this new lifestyle it was so very hard to not give into temptation. I knew it would be one of the hardest times for me since it is something we do all weekend. We would go out to dinner on Friday night and sometimes on Saturday after a day of shopping. Then comes Sunday where we would go have breakfast or lunch before grocery shopping. It's something we have done for 15 years so that is a habit that is hard to break. There is no reason why we could not continue it. I would just have to make healthier options. But for me if I am gonna be ordering a salad I would rather just stay home and eat. So it has been an adjustment for sure.

One thing I am noticing is that we are not eating out as much as we use to and many more homemade meals. It is not only better for the budget but better for our health and calorie intake.
I still love a night out at our favorite Mexican food joint but in 6 weeks we have had fast food maybe twice and before this all began we could easily eat fast food 2 times a week and then 2-3 meals out on the weekends at a restaurant.

I am amazed at how fast and how easy it has been to make these adjustment.
I was sure that I would be throwing a fit over not being able to send Jack out for taco bell.
If anything it has made life easier. I had gotten so sick of the "so what are we eating tonight" conversation that would last an hour. Now I know that dinner is at home and I have for the most part had dinner planned all week or at least since the night before.

Currently I weigh on Wednesday. I don't know if that was a subconscious decision. Just in case I blew it over the weekend. Or if that just happen to be the day I started. I think it was the later. But regardless I don't have anything to worry about. I am not eating any different during the weekends as I am during the week.

It's amazing the changes that have been made in just a few weeks. If habits can be broken in 6 weeks. Then new habits can easily be made as well.

Water Please !

Usually when we eat out and the waitress comes to the table. Water is the last thing we think of ordering. Most of us order a soda and some of us ask for water in addition. But not many of us ask for JUST water. When in reality it is the best choice.

Most Americans do not consume enough water. Regardless of your age,weight, nationality or sex we all all are made up of 75% water. To keep our bodies hydrated and working properly we need to replenish our water intake throughout the day. For some of us that is easier said then done.

Most of us will have a glass of water while taking medications. Maybe in the morning when we brush our teeth or even when we wake in the middle of the night. In reality we should be drinking water on a regular basis throughout the day. If we are active we should be consuming even more.
The amount of water you should drink depends on your age, weight and activity level. But most us don't consume enough as it is. So every little bit will help.

You are not going to be able to tell me to start drinking 120 ounces of water a day. When for the last 20 years my intake consisted of a nightly bottle of water. By adding an extra bottle here and there will help you build up to drinking more. You will also notice a significant change in the amount of times you will need to urinate during the day but that will slowly tapper off as your body gets use to drinking so much.

For me this was a new thing as well. So I started drinking 32ounces between meals and at least 15 ounces before a snack. I also bring a bottle to bed with me. It is keeping me well hydrated and I am feeling fuller between meals which is helping me consume less calories. Try and find a reusable bottle or container that will be just for your water. Use one that you can take with you everywhere you go.

There are many articles you can find on the Internet that will tell you the benefits of water.
Don't forget that a lot of our foods have high water content. So there are more ways to sneak in more water. 

Hormones ??

I am struggling !!
I knew I may have a few of these days and I made it over a month with not even days but hours of
questioning myself on if I was capable of this?
Is this really my time? Three weeks ago had you asked me if I would make it this time. I without a doubt would tell you YES !! Today...I am not so sure about that !

At first I thought that my gain last week is what has thrown me off but now I am not even sure about that,.
All I have to go on is the fact that when I did have a loss it made me want to lose more the following week. Having this gain was such a let down. It's just a pattern of the past.
I have a few losses. Then I have a gain..Then I quit...
I am on that path now !

Today is worse then yesterday. It's not what I am eating..It's how much I am eating.
Even when I started weight watchers I had a hard time getting my points in for the day.
The last few days I have been eating all 3 meals and snacking. Granted the snacks are applesauce and fruit. But I know I am eating more then I should be and I am doing it anyways ! OK, so there have also been a few bowls of low fat ice cream and today a piece of toast with peanut butter and honey.
For anyone else these are just typical meals and snacks. A piece of toast and melon is not going to make the average person pack on the pounds. But for me...It won't help me lose the weight.
My body works different then most people. I have to really work at this. That's extra meal or snack is enough to make ME pack back on the pounds in no time !

I really started to think about this today..
This can't all be over a 1.5LB weight gain.
I feel different..I actually feel hungry..I have this self check I do with myself.
If I feel like I am hungry. I ask myself. "Am I so hungry that I am willing to eat a bowl of dry not even cooked broccoli"Now I like broccoli. But if this is emotional eating I would not make it my number one choice. So if my answer is yes then I get myself something healthy to eat. If the answer is no then I know I am feeling emotional about something. Even if it is as simple as boredom. Yes..Boredom is enough to make me want to eat.
So today I have been asking myself that question and the answer was and still is YES YES YES !!!
Lets see today I woke at 1:30PM it is now 7:12PM I have had Applesauce,Kashi Cereal (weighed) Low Fat Ice Cream, Homemade Hummus on a Whole Wheat Pita and a Piece of Whole Wheat Toast with Peanut Butter Honey and some Melon on the side. All of this in about 6 hours. Now I have not sat down and figured out the points but I know that I am well over where I typically should be.So I ask myself..Could I eat again. YES I could.

So there has to be more to this then emotional eating and more to this then being hungry.
So I started to do a little bit of googling when I came across a few articles about hormonal eating.
I am no longer in my 20's and I am noticing that for one it's harder to lose. I was wondering could hormones effect my hunger status.This is just one of the many articles on it.
http://fit-physique.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=344&Itemid=106

This may be the cause it may not..But I now Know that I not only need to track my food and my activity but now I need to track my emotions and my hunger level. If come this time next month I am feeling the same way. Then I will know that it is time to seek a doctors advice.

One thing I do know today is that this will pass. I went 5 weeks feeling like I could do this for good. That this was my new way of eating to today feeling like it has beaten me again !! I hate that feeling.

Tomorrow is a new day..Even though I have had 2-3 really bad days it does not mean that it has to turn into weeks, months and years as it has in the past !

Getting back on track.

Coming back from a gain has been harder then I thought it would be.
I knew that I could not make it every week without having a gain.
Well that gain happened this week..
I am finding that I am more hungry then usual. I am also not tracking what I am eating. It's not
that I am eating horribly because I am not. But I am not keeping track of everything.
I also find that I am really hungry. Overly hungry !!!
Not sure if this is just emotions or if I am truly hungry.
I can't let one week throw me off completely but this is what I feared.

If you have consistent losses that just makes you want to keep losing.
So you keep going..But for me having a gain is just frustrating. You work so hard to achieve something and then you have no proof of that.
So I am trying to stay on track so that I don't have another gain next week.
It would be so easy for me to go right back up to 210. It would happen overnight.
This is defiantly my test this week. To see if I can come back from a gain !

I was looking at my before pics last night.
I am going to post them..Belly and all.
I want to keep moving away from that and have after pics to post eventualy.
So to keep me on track I will post them for the world to see !

Bound to happen..

In the past when I started a "diet" I would always say I want to lose such and such !

I was so determined. This was going to be my time. I was gonna lose this massive amount and nothing would stand in my way.

Now I am not a serial dieter..I have done WW a few times. I started phen phen years ago but only took it for maybe a week. I have had a few Monday starts of eating healthy.

I just don't think that I was ever truly ready for the journey to losing weight. I never knew what it would take to get there. This time around when I started weight watchers I knew I was ready. I am so tired of being "FAT" Not being able to wear what I want. Sometimes not even able to wear what is in my own closet.

So starting out I had this goal in my head of what I wanted to lose overall and what I strive to lose every month. On weight watchers they tell you that 1-2 pounds a week is a healthy weight loss. So I figured 10 pounds a month sounds like a good doable amount. So no matter what I lose per week whether it be 1.5 pounds or .5 pounds I just want it to average collectively 10 pounds per month,. Last month I lost 8 pounds. It's not 10 but I am proud of the 8 pounds. I work hard for every one of those.

Not only did I make it through the month. I made it past the 3 week hump where in the past I always quit. I have not been perfect. I have had days where I don't track and that I don't count my points. But I have stayed OP (on program). There are so many food choices. On weight watchers you can eat whatever you want you just need to work into your day of what you are allowed to consume. So you don't want to eat 1000 calories for breakfast because that won't leave you much for the rest of the day.

Same goes for eating out. In my opinion even if you can get the nutritional values for restaurant food. I don't believe that they are measuring everything so that it equals what they have posted. So really it's an average and you have no idea of knowing if it is 500 calories or 750 calories. The best way to know that what you are eating is really what it states for instance get your salad dressing on the side. You know that a salad full of veggies is just that. But you have no idea how much salad dressing they put on that salad.

I did not go into this saying that I will never eat out. It is not realistic and won't happen. But no matter where you eat there are ways to make healthier choices. It's just a matter of making that choice. Sometimes easier said then done. Especially when you let yourself get overly hungry. Then you are willing to eat anything in site.

DON'T' WE WISH !!!!!

This past weekend Jack had a gift card that he received from his boss to the olive garden. He gets these from time to time and they are great to have when money is tight and we want to go out for a date night. So we chose to use this on Friday night. I went there having no intentions on nit picking what I was going to eat. I had been doing that for 4 weeks. I made sure on our way there ( 45 minute drive) that I would have a low cal snack. That way I was not overly hungry. We were seated at the bar while we waited for our table. The usual 10 minute wait that turns into 30. As we sit at the bar we are offered a menu to look over. I started out by saying that I should not eat anything with cream sauce. Typically when I eat at olive garden I ALWAYS get the cheese ravioli. We are seated just when I notice a card on the table advertising the all you can eat pasta. Now all you can eat anything should always be avoided. But price wise it was a good deal and you could choose from about 6 pastas, 8 sauces and sausage, chicken, or meatballs. So come ordering time. I ordered something I never have and exactly what I said I wouldn't..Portobello cream sauce !!!! With whole wheat pasta. As if that will make a difference.

Our dinner comes to the table and I am blown away at the size of the plate. I showed Jack what a typical serving should be. It was good but nothing to brag about and I ate about half. I even asked our server if anyone asks for thirds and she said YES ! I just can't believe that. I also had 2 bowls of salad and did not even think about the bread.

OK so that was Friday...

Now clearly I needed to go shopping and when you are eating healthy you need to have your house stocked with many healthy choices. Otherwise that's when you make choices to eat fast food. On our way to shop we were both hungry and made the collective decision to eat at McDonald's inside of walmart before shopping.

Eating out once a week is not enough to destroy an entire week. But twice and we are talking cream sauces and fried french fries. I have not eaten this kind of food in over 4 weeks !! It is bound to put your system in shock and it did!! For 2 days I had the worst pain in my side. You spend 4 plus weeks eating veggies and then eat crap it is bound to tie your intestines in nots !

I always know come weigh day if I had a good week. If I have had a good week then I should expect a loss. Unless my body is bloated due to TOM ( time of month). That was last week and surprisingly lost 2.5Lbs.

So come this morning I did my scale ritual. I stand in front of the scale. I say to myself that I am happy with whatever weight it is. That it's just one week. That I am making a change regardless. I am hoping for 2 pounds but I am happy with whatever it happens to be. If I have a gain I will try harder next week. I will learn from what the scale tells me. My weight is evidence of my past week. I take a deep breath exhale and step on the scale..

196.5 a gain of 1.5 pounds

Next week is a new week !