It's been a while since I have posted almost a WEEK to be exact!!!
I think this is the longest I have gone without posting since I started all of this..
I have had a lot going on mentally and physically..
Which should we start off with first..I know this is a Weight Loss blog in general. But this is also my journal so I talk a little about everything..
I am going to go back to my Neurologist appointment since it is the #1 thing that has been on my mind.
Things DID go well..As a matter of fact I even had some lesions vanish.. This could be a result of eating healthy and not eating highly processed foods. On the other hand he was so confused by my MRI's that he wants all my MRI's that I have had done to compare them because he feels like that was not even my scan..I seen TWO doctors that day and they both agreed that with my symptoms that I am having lots of blood work to check for many other auto immune disease such as lupus. I was tested for Lupus in the beginning but right now I cant think of the names of the other ones..As soon as he gets my scans and my blood work he will call me..I have craziness going on inside my body right now and I have for some time..I think for about a year now I have NOT had a break.. I have to walk around with this smile on my face when I am in public when I am dieing inside! As soon as I get home I put my PJ's on and collapse on the sofa or the bed..They know there is more to this and I do too and always have!!! The key is finding out what??? Do I have to go through another spinal tap? Am I willing to do that? I don't know at this point! If it means being able to get through my day and FINALLY say today was a good day.. Then maybe it's worth it..
The COPAXONE has not been started yet..I have a hard time putting myself through one more thing then I have to.Dr. M told me to just start it when I am ready..As soon as possible. The hope is that it will calm down my symptoms. So the sooner that I do the better. The day they got here and I unpacked them from the box filled with ice packs and opened one of the boxes. It was a familiar site. Rows and rows and needles pre filled with medication. Medication that burns like a Mother F-er...I just wanted to cry looking at it and can not believe that I am here again..I need to be grateful that it is available to me. But right there in that moment all I could think about was the endless days of dreading my nightly shot where I sit and cry for an hour because I DON'T want to do it..Jack then forces me to JUST get it over with!!!
This medication reacts different for each person.. For me it is the worst it can possibly get! The burning last for about 2 hours..By then I am completely mentally and physically exhausted..So yes I am holding out..I said I would start Monday and Monday has come and gone!
I have a NEW weigh day!! No more giving myself those few days to make up for the crap I eat over the weekend! So I weighed this morning and surprisingly I weighed 182.5..Let me tell you..It has been a free for all since Friday..We have ate out every day and I have had a McDonald's ice cream cone every day. It has been one meal a day not all 3 meals. But I was shocked. I was expecting to see a gain!
I will be starting 30 day shred.. Monday did not happen as it was suppose to.. I was going to start 30 day shred and copaxone today. But I started getting sick yesterday.
So I may put this off till NEXT Monday..
I am also going to start doing a lot more Journaling. I have bought 2 more journals. I bought a really nice one at Borders and then I also got a really nice one at Walgreen's. The only difference was the price.. Yeah..I was tempted to take the borders one back.. But I really like it so I may keep it..
I am going to document my Copaxone symptoms how I feel the day of and my symptoms and see how I feel. This way I know if the meds are working. I did not do this last time.Jack seems to think That I felt better the last time I was on it. Now I will know. No more guessing!
So I am still here..Still going strong. Other then this past weekend of course..