Monday, March 21, 2011

Weigh in...Plus don't bake while on a diet! Progress pic..NEW PJ'S

It seems like a really long time since I have posted here!
I guess because in a way it has! Almost a FULL week!

It has been a rough week on all fronts..

I did not bake during the holidays because I was right in the middle of losing weight and I knew better. I knew that baking would only be a trigger for me. So I stayed away from it.
I had a package that I was going to be mailing for a girlfriend and decided that I wanted to also add some baked goods and I would never just add store bought. When I bake I do it to show my friends and family my love and appreciation for them. So I decided to bake. I figured I could handle this!
So I baked!! I made 5 different kinds of cookies and peanut brittle and I will just leave it at that. No need to list everything off or give pictures and make your mouths water and give you triggers. That would would not be a very nice thing to do! I figured I could handle it! I was oh sooooo very wrong!!!!!

Today was weigh day!! I gained 2 pounds! Back to 182.5

I went to dinner with Jack on Sunday night and we went and had Mexican food. I figured while I was at it might as well end with a bang! WELL NOT REALLY...! That is just where we ended up eating but the fact that I ate like 15 cookies I was not nit picking on how many chips and salsa I would eat.

While on our way home a few hours later because I had went shopping and stuff later. I said yah know I really should NOT be hungry but I AM!! He said yah know I was thinking the same thing. I said it is because we have been eating nothing but CRAP!! Our bodies are on this sugar high and our bodies are craving nothing but junk food and carbs.I even got a McDonald's ice cream cone before coming home.OMGGGGG

I could totally beat myself up about this. I was for sure that I had seen the last of 182 and here I sit right back at 182.5. I mean I have beat myself up enough to NEVER NEVER  NEVERRRR do this again. But I am also not going to tear myself apart. I have done enough of tearing myself apart in my lifetime.

There is one person in my life besides my husband Jack that tells me I am beautiful and compliments me on my looks. Even if it's said to me over and over it does not resonate with me because I myself have never believed it. So no matter who pays me a compliment it makes me VERY uncomfortable!! I don't even really know what to say back. Just saying thanks seems very strange because even that does not sound right because I really DON'T appreciate it. That sounds horrible!!! It's just that I don't believe it! If that makes sense? Kind of like if someone was to say you know what....I really think that you have a nice car but you are driving a piece of crap 1980 that was passed down to you from your brother in HS. You are still driving it to this day..Now you say thanks just to be polite. Well that is what I do when someone pays me a compliment.
Maybe one day I will be OK in my own skin but I am not there yet!
I am getting there. There was a time that I hated anyone taking a picture of me and now I actually like taking progress pictures. This is my most recent taken on Sunday. I was having a bad hair day.. See I still have to pick at myself in some way.. I am working on it! What can I say!
On Sunday we also went shopping I was looking for some new bedding which I have been looking for a long time!!!! Since I don't have any clothes that fit and the top that I am wearing in the pic above is like 6 years old from the last time I was in the 180's I needed some clothes. But I was not out to buy clothes! But while at target I came across some PJ's..All my PJ  shorts are too big.. So here are some comparisons. These are really cute and comfy and what I like is that you can mix and match!


Underneath ones are old!
These are the tops that I bought that go with to mix and match.
Because I have always had issues loving MYSELF!.......Treating myself with respect and putting myself and my body first. Everyday or every time I post a blog I will start it off with telling you the reader or myself what it is that I love about myself. It can be something really small..It does not matter..It just needs to be something..Because I have NEVER done this..I always stand in the mirror and point out all the flaws..What sucks! I look at pictures and point out what is wrong and none of what is right! I think it is due time that I change that. So today it is just gonna be at the end of the post..(  :

♥♥My hands♥♥


  1. This post really spoke to me. I've never been able to take any compliments. And my husband never gives up giving me them :)
    Don't beat yourself up over some extra calories, just jump back into healthy eating and you'll be feeling better in no time.
    I'm going to look for pj shorts now!!

  2. I had to say this was funny, because I can totally relate to the not wanting/taking compliments. I am so self deprecating. I can't even post a FB profile pic unless someone is covering me or I am making a funny face. Don't even tell me my dress looks nice or I look thinner. Thanks for sharing that I'm not the only one!

    Congrats on the new pj's!

  3. Oooh, I love the pics of your your PJ shorts - what a great idea for comparing your size drop, you've just inspired me to do the same! You should be so proud of yourself that your efforts are paying off and in such a visible way. I am also on a weight loss mission that started at the begining of the year and so far so good, I love it when the scale shows a drop in the figures. I find the best way I keep going and keep motivated is 1) looking at this new pair of jeans that I bought for myself that is two sizes smaller than what I am now and 2) making sure that all my exercise actitivies fun for me so that I stay at it. So far it's been jumping on my mini trampoline, swimming and doing weights (thoroughly enjoy that one). Anyway, I can't wait to lose enough weight to take comparison pictures of my clothes like your ones!

  4. Good job girl. Keep it up. You're looking really good. Love love love the jammies!

  5. You are beautiful and you better start believing it....
    Stand in front of the mirror everyday and tell yourself...I AM SPECIAL, I AM BEAUTIFUL!!!!

    Love the new jarmies and a lot smaller in size as well.

  6. Being positive and nice to myself is one of my setbacks also. I have tried to make an effort to smile more and stand straight and with confidance. It really makes a difference.

  7. Awesome idea taking new clothes pics with the old colthes underneath. A great proof of progress and that what you are doing is working for you; bravo to you!

    Thanks for your supportive words on my blog; appreciate having your support!

    Wishing your sister all the best with her battle with the hotchkins lymphoma beast.


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