35 POUNDS

Have you ever done a post that just disappears?? WELLL..I typed one out for an hour and it did just that!!
What happened to auto save??

So there will be no way I will remember exactly what I typed nor do I want to..UGH!!
So this will be the short of it!

35 POUNDS That is my total weight loss since I started on this journey..OK I hate the word JOURNEY..
I just do..I need to come up with my OWN word for my weight loss "journey"
I started back in summer 2010 at 210 POUNDS!! HOLLY COW!!! This was an all time high!
I have never seen anything higher on the scale. So if I have weighed more then that I have not seen it.
When I decided to do my blog in September I weighed 203 Pounds..So I had already lost a few pounds.
So in TOTAL it is 35 POUNDS..Just BLOWS me AWAY that I have lost that much weight!

Sometimes I think back to what we use to eat and think OK maybe I did not eat all that different?
Then I REALLY start to think about it...
Fast Food..McDonald's French Fries and Chicken Nuggets all the time
BIG bags of Starburst in 2-3 days
I would Bake Cheesecakes, Key Lime Pies, and Cookies and we ate them all
Always had Pastries in the house
Dinner was a 5 course meal, Meat,Packaged Potatoes,Corn,Salad W/dressing,croutons,cheese, and then we had bread usually the kind in the tube that you bake in the oven because I shopped with coupons so I always got them on sale for $.25..Then we would top then with butter and Jelly
We would order out Pizza and every Friday night we watched Ghost Whisper and got Panda Express.I do mean EVERY FRIDAY..
I would munch from the time Jack went to bed till the time I did 8 hours later..This out of boredom.
We went through GALLONS of regular ice cream..
THE LIST GOES ON !!!!

I am still to this day battling my emotional eating..But it is 90% better.. I never would have thought that I would even be where I am at right now..After dinner I will have a bowl of no sugar added ice cream. Then I don't eat for the rest of the night.. Do ALL of my nights go that way?? NO..It is a work in progress..But I have gone from eating 8 hours straight to NOT..That is a BIG deal!!! I can now say to myself.."you are not hungry" "If you don't want that apple then you are not hungry" If I am going to choose to eat chocolate or ice cream or something fattening over something healthy then I know that I am doing it for emotional reasons. But if I go to the fridge and try and find something healthy then I know that I am actually hungry..It does not always work and I sometimes go for the sugary food like when TOM is around and my emotions are all over the place LIKE RIGHT NOW.. I am SAD, DEPRESSED, and feel like the world sucks at this very moment..So I am trying to keep my food decisions in check today.
Jack made dinner tonight which consisted of Salmon,Finger Potatoes, and Edamame...For breakfast I had a Greek Yogurt and some OJ..That is all I have had today because I am once again on a wacky sleep schedule and was not up till 5PM..So Dinner was actually lunch.Right now I am craving ice cream..So soon I will probably have some of that..But I seem to have my emotional eating in check tonight.

On Thursday I have a doctors appointment..I use to go every month for the last 6 years. Then we went to every 2 months for the last years. It has been nice to go in with GOOD news instead of always BAD..I get to tell him what my weight loss was since the last time I seen him! It usually ends up being around 10 pounds..I think it will be about 8 this time.