Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Can you tell????

OK I have had something that has been bothering me..I don't think about it all the time but it has crossed my mind.

I have worked so freaking hard to get where I am.. Harder then I have my entire life..
I have always been the one that said Monday I will start. I would write down my entire plan. I would clean out my fridge and pantry..I have note books that I still have to this day from years past where I wrote down what my plan was. What I would be eating and the exercise I would be doing.

I don't think that I wanted it more this time. I have always wanted this..I just woke up one day and said OK that's it!!! TODAY IS THE DAY! I don't even think it was a Monday.HaHa..

So I started by just making better choices.. About 2 months later after only losing 7 pounds I started Weight Watchers. Then about a month later I decided to count calories. The difference that is working for me this time is that I am doing what works for me. Calorie counting seems to be it. I have been slacking on that for the last two weeks but still measuring and eating the same foods.But I do need to get back to counting..I am in this..One day I will get to where I want to be. There is no time limit.

I have not been able to notice any difference. Trust me since the first 5 pounds I have been looking. It was not till recently that I noticed a difference in my stomach. There is a part on a woman where the stomach ends and hooha starts. From having a stomach I have this line there and my stomach would slightly drop over that. Well now that line is visible my stomach no longer drops over it. By measuring I have lost somewhere form 1 1/2 inches to 2. So not a huge amount but enough to notice that. Plus I have droped a pant size.So things are happening and I know from years past that once I hit the 70's I will really notice a difference. I was there ONCE in the last 10 years and it was about 5 years ago. I thought that I was in the 80's but it was 178. So about 10 pounds to go and I was in a 14 if you can believe that!! Other than that it has been over almost 16 years since I have been under 178. So this will be HUGE for me.

You would think that out of all people in the world your family sees you most. But I don't see my family much since we moved an hour away. So I see every one about every 3 months. This is my close family. The people you want to spend time with..LOL
So come Thanksgiving I had not seen anyone in about 3 months. Since my nieces birthday over the summer and I was 210..MY HEAVIEST EVERRRRRRR!!!!!!! My sister actually thought I looked as though I had lost weight. Must have been what I was wearing or something.

Being 20 pounds lighter you would think that they would notice..NOPE..Not a single person said anything. Maybe it too was what I was wearing. I had on Black leggings and a Boyfriend sweater. So it covered my ass and was a bit baggy.I LOVE that sweater..Anyways..The entire day went on and I did not say anything. I was not going to if no one noticed. I was going to keep it to myself and then maybe the next time which would be Christmas they would notice. But by the end of the night and we were putting all the food away and I was telling my aunt to keep everything. The only one's in the kitchen were my aunt and my grandmother.My exact words were "I have lost 20 pounds can't you tell" Neither said yeah we can tell. My aunt proceeded to say she had lost 20 pounds and my Gma said that she keep the weight off by walking on the treadmill. Maybe they felt the same way..Hoping that someone would notice their hard work???
It just makes you feel a bit deflated..It did me anyways. Those are the people that you want validation from. At least I do!
It has taken me a few months to notice anything. But people that you don't see for a while shouldn't they be the ones to notice??

Don't get me wrong. I am doing this for me and no one else..But one person to notice the 20 pounds I have lost would have been nice..Oh well maybe come Christmas.

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